Thursday, May 22, 2014

It All Comes Down to Being the Most Loving You Can Be



I am reading a book right now.  I am not particularly enjoying it but I know I need to finish reading it.  Because even though it is written in a style that I find confusing and hard to follow, I know that there are little bits of information in that that will change my life.

This morning I was thinking about the book and realized that my big take-away has been the idea that the way to find more peace and joy is to be more loving in every moment.  To ask myself "Is this the most loving I can be?"  

Yesterday my daughter had a splinter and after an hour of drama I started to get annoyed.  I was judging her for not being as strong as the other kids.  I was judging her for being so overly dramatic.  Those judgments were not the most loving I could be.  Those judgments were not helping the situation.  Those judgments were in the voice of my mother.  And an old friend.  And a neighbor across the street.  Those judgments were not what I felt in my heart but what I had learned to accept as my own over the years.  

So I stopped judging her and I was the most loving I could be.  I got her through getting the splinter and out and I appreciated that this was very scary for her and I appreciated that this was high on her pain scale.  Then I hugged her and kissed her and got us about our day.  And later on we talked about better ways to handle scary or painful situations.  And I felt great and peaceful and joyful and I bet she did to.

I tried it again this morning without a child raincoat drama and when I wanted a second helping at dinner last night and when a friend asked me to get together and when I was behind a very rude person at the grocery store and when a parent was disregarding all of the rules of the school drop off line.  In every moment I asked myself if I was being the most loving I could be.  

If my answer was "no" then I thought about what I was judging.  I thought about the fact that every moment is perfect and therefore deserves all of my love.  And those moments that feel uncomfortable are still perfect and are holding a lesson for me to help me let go of my judgments and fill that space with love instead.  

I hope this is something I can incorporate into my life in each in every perfect moment.