Tote Bags ... A Sewing Project Short on Frustration and Big on Creativity

I mostly limit my sewing to making bags. 

 Because my sewing skills pretty much end with 3rd grade home economics.

But just because I make the same shape over and over again, doesn't mean I have to make the same bag!

I whipped up these two dance bags for my daughters in a few hours using fabric scraps, old pillow cases, outgrown pajama pants, glitter and rhinestones.

The whole adventure starts with a good tutorial for making a tote bag.  You can make this bag any size and with pretty much any material.

For this fancy tote, I choose a sparkly outer fabric leftover from a mermaid costume and for the inside I used some jersey that I had bought to make a dress.  I then drew my daughter's initial on the front of the bag and glued on tiny rhinestones around the outline and then filled it with glitter.

This little owl bag is made from a pillow case and an old shawl and I think some fabric that used to be my pajama bottoms!  I simply made the tote and the cut out the eyes, beak and wings and hand-stitched them on to the front of the bag.

I love that I have found a sewing project that doesn't frustrate my limited skill level and still allows for lots of creativity!  I can't wait to play around with some other fun tote bag inspirations!

Three Days of Reading Deprivation ... Less Time Reading, More Time Living

I took three days off from reading.  

No reading books.  Or magazines.  Or recipes.  Or emails or texts or Facebook.

And I was amazed how little I missed most of it and how many more enjoyable things I found to do with my time.  It really showed me how reading can enhance my life and how it can weigh me down.

Without being able to read, I spent more time ...

- sewing

- talking to my kids

- meditating

- thoughtfully eating

- sleeping

- walking

- doing yoga

- drawing

- writing in my journal

-talking to people in person and one the phone

- running errands I have been putting off

-cooking

- letting my kids read me bedtime stories

Without being able to read, I really missed ...

- snuggling in with a book before bed

-texting

- being able to refer to recipes

- checking my calendar and to-do list

- Pinterest

Without being able to read, I realized I can do without ...

- Facebook

- checking my emails more than two times a day

- reading while I sit in the car waiting for the kids to get out of school

- opening my computer before 8PM unless I am working on a specific project

After my three days, I feel much more appreciative of when I am reading for the joy of learning and organizing and more aware of when I am reading to escape doing something that requires more energy.  I have vowed to put my computer away until the kids go to bed unless I am working on a specific project, I have vowed to look at Facebook no more than once per day, I have vowed to check my email at lunch and in the evening and I have vowed to allow spare moments to be just that.   I have vowed to be fully present when I am reading instead of just using it as a distraction.

How to Remain Creative ... In a World That Teaches Discipline

I recently had an ah-ha moment about balancing creativity and discipline, self expression or technique.  I have struggled for many years with how to be creative while living and working in a world that seems to require and reward disciple. My struggle has intensified now that my children are involved in dance, art and music which you would think fosters their ability to express themselves but really seems to be lesson after lesson after lesson in technique.

I realized that creativity is the domain of the "master" and discipline is the focus of the "student".

In dance, you spend many years as a student learning technique and performing the vision of the choreographer.  The choreographer, the master, has spent their years learning technique as a student and are now at liberty to express their creativity to the masses through the dances they create.

In the culinary world, you spend many years as a student learning technique and executing the vision of the chef.  The chef, the master, has spent their years of learning technique as a student and are now at liberty to express their creativity to the masses through the dishes they create and the restaurants they lead.

In the world of architecture, you spend many years as a student learning technique and executing the vision of the architect.  The architect, the master, has spent their years of learning technique as a student and are now at liberty to express their creativity to the masses through the structures they design.

When I looked at all of these examples, I determined that discipline is knowing how something will turn out based on the techniques you have learned... how do you turn without falling over, how do you grill a steak without burning it, how to you build a house without it collapsing.  And I determined that creativity is being surprised, taking an idea and just seeing where it goes, experimenting with no attachment to the outcome.

As a master you are free to experiment.  You have earned that right.
As a student you are asked to learn perfect technique.  It is your responsibility.

It makes sense but it seems so disheartening.  I get that you really need to learn how to do things so they work before you can spend all of your time experimenting ... although I am sure there are some people out there who are perfectly happy to just twirl around to the music for hours, eat combinations of peanut butter, sardine and wheatgrass or build things with Legos that always tip over!  But sacrificing your self-expression during your "student" years is just too sad!

So how do we keep the creativity going when we are still the student?  I think the challenge is to be your own "master" during all of the years that you are a "student".

 In dance,  the student can be the master in their own space ... when they dance around their living room or on the dance floor with their friends.  The technique they have learned and are learning gives them the tools to create with.  They know how to leap and turn and point their toes and they can put that all together into something amazing of their own creation.

In cooking,  the student can be the master in their own space ... when they play with flavors in their kitchen and cook meals for their family.  The technique they have learned and are learning gives them the tools to create with.  They know how to butcher and saute and season and they can put that all together into something amazing that expresses themselves.

In architecture,  the student can be the master in their own space ... when they doodle on napkins and build tree houses with their kids.  The technique they have learned and are learning gives them the tools to create with.  They know how to draw and engineer and they can put that all together into something amazing that communicates their vision.

I think that that some people are so amazing at what they do because they never lose their creativity while they were a student.  They spend long hours learning and then still have the passion and determination to be their own master at night and on the weekends and every moment in between.  They have so much love for what they do that they can't help but find the energy to be both student and master.  And by the time they rise to the master level, they have been nurturing their creativity for so long that it just bursts forth now that it has a wider audience.

I think that most of us get so stuck in our role as student that by the time we rise to master we have to relearn to be creative.  And some of us never do.  And what a sad existence that is.

With this realization comes my determination to let my children be their own masters.  I will allow them time and materials to execute their own visions with no attachment to the outcome.  I will let them dance around the living room for hours without correcting their form.  I will let them cook things in the kitchen even if that means ordering pizza for dinner.  I will let them draw without the rules of perspective.  I will let them fill journals with half written stories.  I will give them containers of leftover materials and let them build.  I will give them scraps of fabric and a needle and let them sew.  I will let them blow into their clarinet with no sheet music.  I will let them be the "master" for all these years that they will also be the "student".

"I Prefer" ... Tell Me What You Love, Not What You Hate

I have introduced the words "I prefer" to my children.  

And I am loving hearing them because they help me understand what my children want without making my hair stand on end!

You see, my almost 10 year old daughter entered a stage a few months ago where she looks at whatever food I have placed on the table and finds fault with it.  It is something she has never seen before.  YUCK!  It is a piece of produce with a slight imperfection.  EWWW!  It is touching!  I CAN'T EAT THIS!

I have never been and never will be a short-order cook in my own house.  From the time they could chew my children have eaten exactly what my husband and I eat.  Because I want them to be open to all foods and I want them to be able to eat places without me.  I expect one bite of everything and I expect my children to manage their own plates to make the meal I served make them happy.  I don't mind that my tomato-hater picks out the tomatoes but I am not doing it for her. 

But while these rules of eating are being followed I can not stand when my daughter arrives at the table armed with complaints before a piece of food has entered her mouth.

So I have asked her to address any complaints in the form of "I prefer".  I would prefer if we could take the skin off these apples.  I would prefer if this ham and cheese on my plate was in the form of a sandwich.  I would prefer to have grapes instead of raspberries.

I like this for many reasons.  I like it because I don't feel attacked.  And I like it because I feel like it is helping her to actually understand and communicate what she doesn't like about something.  And I like that it is helping her focus on love, not fear.  And I like that she is learning that when you ask for something nicely and with good reason, people are willing to work with you.  Sometimes I can happily give her what she prefers.  I don't mind swapping a fruit or cutting the crust off the bread.  And sometimes I can't and we talk about why so that she knows I understand her concerns.  But in all cases, eating together has become enjoyable again!

I have also extended "I prefer" to other areas of our lives like homework and clothes and anything else that causes that grumpy 10 year old face!

Signs of an Unbalanced Chakra ... Behavior Challenges, Physical Issues and Addictions

So you learned a bit about chakras in my post A Chakra Primer ... The Energy of Your Being.   You know that when a chakra is unbalanced you experience behavioral challenges, physical difficulties and addictions in the parts of your life or body that are energized by that chakra.   And now you want to understand which of your chakras is unbalanced!

First, let's take a look at what  behavioral challenges, physical difficulties and addictions result from an imbalance in each chakra.

When your ROOT chakra is unbalanced you are not secure and you will...

- fight or take flight during stressful situations

- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the base of spine, legs, bones and bone marrow, feet, rectum, physical body support

- you will have addictions to heroin, cocaine, alcohol, work, sex, being sick or ill, accidents, exercise, cutting, sadistic or masochistic behaviors, spending, debt, milk, fat, meats

When your SACRAL chakra is unbalanced you not passioante and you will ...

- just go through the motions (depressed, repressed) or do things for the praise of others

- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the Sexual organs, large intestine, lower vertebrae, pelvis, the kidneys, appendix, bladder, prostate, hip area, the lymphatic system, all the body fluids
- you will have addictions to gluten, wheat, starchy carbs, grain based alcohol, chocolate, emotionalism

When your SOLAR PLEXUS chakra is unbalanced you do not believe in yourself and you will ....
- be shy (weak) or be controlling (rigid, unforgiving)
- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the respiratory system and diaphragm, the digestive system, stomach, liver, gallbladder, kidney, pancreas, adrenal glands, spleen, the small intestine, the lower back, the sympathetic nervous system
- you will have addictions to work, perfectionism, cannabis, caffeine, carbonated beverages, corn based alcohol, beer, corn processed sugars

When your HEART chakra is unbalanced you are unaccepting and you will ...

- be to attached to others (begging for them to do it your way) or be too judgemental of others (judging them for not doing it your way)
- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the heart and circulatory system, lungs, bronchial tubes, shoulders and arms, diaphragm, thymus gland, the immune system, the skin, the upper back
- you will have addictions to ecstasy, love, smoking, sugars and sweets, toxic relationships, wine

When your THROAT chakra is unbalanced you are not authentic and you will ...
- be indecisive or self-rightous
- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the throat
- you will have addictions to compulsive talking, mania, compulsive reading, overeating, smoking

When your BROW chakra is unbalanced you are not in touch with your insight  and you will ...
- need to be perfect or live in a fantasy world
- you will see health problems or injuries associated with the the brain, nervous system, eyes, ears, nose, sinuses, face, the pineal and pituitary gland
- you will see addictions to self hatred, poor body image, appearances, chocolate, all mood altering substances, obsessive hand washing and OCD behaviors

Now that you understand what each unbalanced chakra looks like, you can pinpoint your own areas that need some help.
Look at the list above of limiting behaviors, physical problems and addictions and make a list of all of the ones that you have, by chakra.  I bet you will see a trend!

You can also take a "test" to help pinpoint your chakra imbalanced.  I love this "quiz" to help get a good overview of how your energy is flowing in each chakra.  This is the very place I got my start!

As you balance your chakra, you will see the behavior challenges, physical issues and addictions lessen or go away!  If you go back to my post A Chakra Primer ... The Energy of Your Being, you will gain an understanding for how to balance each chakra with crystals, yoga, food and all sorts of other good things but the most important thing to do to balance a chakra is to deal with the underlying negative experience from a past life, childhood or trauma that has caused the block in the first place.



FYI:
Keep in mind that there is a lot of slightly comflicting and overlapping information about the specifics of  issues that come from an unbalanced chakra!  These are the ideas that work best for me but you might find different infomation out that feels better to you. 
Also, thank you to Mind, Body, Spirit Healing for this great article on chakras and addictions.

Chakra Pinterest Boards ... Keeping My Energy Flowing

I find lots of great ways to support my chakras... food, yoga, quotes, essential oils, crystals ... and I save them all here in my Pinterest boards!

For general chakra and energy ...

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Energy Flow on Pinterest.

For your root chakra and sense of security ...

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Chakra - Root on Pinterest.

For your sacral chakra and sense of passion ...

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Chakra - Sacral on Pinterest.

For your solar plexus chakra and self-worth ....

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Chakra - SP on Pinterest.

For your heart chakra and sense of compassion ....

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Chakra - Heart on Pinterest.

For your throat chakra and honesty ...

Follow Elyse Rosati's board Chakra - Throat on Pinterest.

For your brow chakra and insight ...

A Chakra Primer ... The Energy of Your Being

I pay a lot of attention to my chakras.

What are chakras, you ask?  Well, they are the energy centers of your body.

When energy is flowing freely through them, everything is wonderful.  You feel great and you can pour lots of positive energy out into the world.
When energy is not balanced in a chakra, you experience behavioral, physical difficulties and addictions in the parts of your life or body that are energized by that chakra.

THE 7 CHAKRAS

Your ROOT chakra deals with security.  This chakra is located at the base of your spine.
Your SACRAL chakra deals with passion.  This chakra is located about 2 inches below your naval.
Your SOLAR PLEXUS chakra deals with inner strength.  This chakra is located in the upper abdomen.
Your HEART chakra deals with love.  This chakra is located just above your heart.
Your THROAT chakra deals with communication.  This chakra is located at your throat.
Your BROW chakra deals with intuition and thinking.  This chakra is located at the third eye.
Your CROWN chakra deals with spirituality.  This chakra is located at the top of your head.

FREELY FLOWING ENERGY
When energy is flowing freely through a chakra, it is balanced.  A balanced chakra helps you  be free of behavioral challenges, physical ailments and addictions.

A balanced ROOT brings makes you feel safe.  You are secure and grounded and unwavering
A balanced SACRAL allows you to feel joy in what you do.  You are luscious and passionate and creative and you do it all for yourself, from your soul. 

A balanced SOLAR PLEXUS makes you strong.  You are true to yourself and feel great self worth.
A balanced HEART makes you compassionate.  You accept and appreciate others and their own personal journeys.
A balanced THROAT makes you authentic.  You use kind words and truthful.
A balanced BROW makes you insightful.  You combine logic and intuition.
A balanced CROWN makes you free.

I bet you can think of a few people who seem to have very balanced chakras.  Those people who are confident and kind and who find great joy in every moment of life.  You can feel their energy just radiating out of them and can't help but smile!

AN UNBALANCED CHAKRA
Sadly, most of us have a few chakras that don't have a free flow of energy.  The energy in a chakra may become unbalanced when you are holding on to negativity in the chakra and are not expressing its full positive potential.   You may have carried this negativity from a past life or developed it during your childhood and it could be the result of a trauma.  I think about a blocked chakra as being one that you are trying to protect from anyone taking whatever positive energy you have and an overactive chakra as being one that you are craving positive energy from others.

To determine which of your chakras are blocked, please read Signs of an Unbalanced Chakra.

I truly feel that the only way to balance your chakra is to release this negativity.  When you can forgive yourself or another person for injuring you (physically, mentally or emotionally) and you can replace the negative belief or anger you acquired with a new positive affirmation, your chakra will balance and your behavioral challenges, physical ailments and cravings will dissolve.  When you can let go of protecting yourself or craving for someone else to complete you and can generate your own positive energy you will achieve this state.  This article on healing your chakras gives a really thorough explanation!

To get started on releasing this negativity, I ask myself how I have been hurt.
If my ROOT is unbalanced, how did a disaster make me fear for my security?
If my SACRAL is unbalanced, how did being judged for something I created cause me to fear sharing my passion?
If my SOLAR PLEXUS is unbalanced, how was I hurt by being myself or true to myself?
If my HEART is unbalanced, how was I hurt by allowing someone to do it their way instead of mine?
If my THROAT is unbalanced, how was I hurt by speaking the truth?
If my BROW is unbalanced, how was I hurt my making a mistake?

Keep in mind that if you are dealing with significant challenges, ailments and cravings, you are going to have to dig dip.  Probably over a long period of time. Probably through more than one negative experience.  You might even need help from someone other than yourself.  But once you know where your block is, you can really focus your energy on healing in the right place.

While you are doing this work to eliminate the negativity, you can help fill your chakra with the positive ...eating certain foods, wearing certain colors, crystals, activities, and yoga poses.  I have Pinterest boards where I collect things that help me support each chakra.   

MORE INFORMATION ON CHAKRAS
This is my take on how chakras work but I am by no means an authority!!!!  I have just worked with them long enough to have developed my own idea of how they work and how I can use them as a positive resource on my journey.
To learn more about chakras and how they work, here are some great resources.

Chakra Energy
About.com Holistic Healing
The Chakra Bible
A Children's Guide to Chakras

The Fine Line Between Being True to Yourself and Being Selfish

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what it means to be true to yourself.  And how to not step over the line into selfishness.

I started thinking about this because I have been questioning a lot of things that I would like to do ... alter my work schedule, take a week long retreat without my husband or kids, let my hair go gray.  And I realized that the questioning voice is not my own but that of everyone else in my life and in society.  The voice is telling me that is not how things are done.  This got me thinking about those "free spirits" I know and I realized that those people listen only to their voices.  

Then I reflected on a particular friend who listens to her own voice.  Her voice tells her that working 3 days a week is too much because all of her friends don't have to work and spend their days shopping and having a bottle of wine with lunch.  Her voice tells her that she should run off to Cabo with her friends and leave her kids behind .. a few times a year.  Her voice tells her she needs to have her hair colored by the most expensive stylist in NY.  This all feels so selfish to me.  But isn't she just listening to her own voice?

Then I realized that we have two voices.  Our soul and our ego.  Our soul is filled with love and creating positive energy.  Our ego is filled with fear and gathering material items and status.  When we are being true to ourselves we are listening to our soul.  When we listen to our ego we run the risk of being selfish.

I think about a young man who wants to take a year off before going to college.  Taking the year to discover what he loves through work, travel and volunteering is getting in touch with his soul.  Taking the year because he is afraid to try something new and wants to lie around playing video games while mom still does his laundry is his selfish ego running the show.  Going to college even when he isn't ready is listening to the voices of his parents who fear for his future well being if he does not follow the status quo.

I think about running off for a girls weekend.  Going away for a few days to relax and reconnect with your sisterhood feeds your soul.  Running away from your kids and husband so you can lie by the pool and make your other friends jealous is fed by your ego.  Choosing not to go is listening to the voice of your mother that tells you not to choose yourself over your family, even for a few days.

I think about the person who quits their job to go back to school creating a financial burden for their family and having less time to spend with their kids.  Are they following a passion?  Or are they afraid of their current boredom and trying to chase it away?  Or are they not going to school because they are listening to the voice of their husband who tells them that their job is just fine and their primary responsibility is at home.

By the way, I totally thinks this extends to kids as well.  I think back to the preschool days of teaching kids to share.  I remember a friend getting really mad at me when I would not make my daughter share a princess figure that was so dear to her. You know the one.  The one that slept with her and took a bath with her and never left her sweaty little hand.  That princess so clearly was part of her soul.  She loved it almost as much as she loved me!  And I let her be true to herself by keeping it safe with her.  I did not force society's "right answer" of "always share" on to her. And of course I helped her to share every other of the 30 princess figures we had because holding on to those was just her ego.  Even back then I think I knew that there was a difference between doing something for yourself because it touches you deep down inside and creates such a feeling of love and positive energy and doing something for yourself because it soothes a fear and makes you feel more powerful.

I think it is not so much what you do but which voice is telling you to do it.    Are you listening to your true self?   Or is it your ego pushing you into selfish decisions?  Or is it the voice of friends and family holding you back?  Get really quiet and listen closely!!!!

Petite Pecan Pie

First of all I just LOVE saying "petite pecan pie"!  Second these were adorable and yummy so I must share.

You will need ...

For the Crust

1 cup butter

2 cups flour

1/2 cup sugar

For the Filling

3 eggs

1/ cup sugar

1 cup corn syrup

1 tsp vanilla 

1/2 stick butter, melted

1/4 tsp salt

2 cups pecans

Preheat your oven to 350 and spray a mini muffin pan.

Cream together the butter and sugar for the crust.

Then slowly add in the flour until it is combined into a soft dough.

Scoop about a tsp of dough into the bottom of each muffin tin and press with your fingers until it uniformly covers the bottom

Bake for about 8 minutes or until lightly golden brown.

While the crust is baking, mix together the eggs, sugar, corn syrup, vanilla, butter and salt.

Remove the crusts from the oven and sprinkle a few pecans over each crust.

Pour a tablespoon of the filling mixture over each pie and bake for about 15 minutes or until deep a golden brown.

Allow the petite pies to cool and then remove from the muffin tins with the help of a butter knife.

Serve with some vanilla ice cream or homemade whipped cream.

Enjoy!

Valentine's Day Scavenger Hunt ... My Heart on a String

Every year on Valentine's Day I make a scavenger hunt for my kids.

I stole the idea from a sorority activity.

I buy a few sweet little things to say "I love you".  A craft, a book, maybe a treat.  And I hide them.  

Then I take a ball of yarn and tie it to to the gifts and unwind it through the house.  Over chairs and under railings and behind tables.  When I get to the end of my yarn I tape it to the wall with a heart.

On Valentine's Day morning I let the kids follow the string to their special gift.

I love watching their glee as they wind around the house working together to untangle themselves.