Getting Rid of Your Baggage to Be a Lighter Being .... Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller

I am always looking for new insights into my self to help me get rid of some of the baggage I am carrying and be a lighter being.

One of the very best insights I have ever had was understanding the astrological ideas of the North and South Nodes of the Moon.  When you were born, the Modes of the Moon were in certain signs opposite each other.  

In a nutshell, the South Node tells you about the baggage you are carrying and where you need to learn and heal and the North Node tells you about where you can go and make the very best use of the gifts you have hidden inside.   Sounds like something everyone should know, right?

I have been using the information about my Nodes for a long time but I recently found an amazing book. Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller,  that provides some really substantial insights into the Nodes and has given me some amazing new insights that I hope will carry me farther along my path to being brighter.  Even if you know nothing about astrology, you can easily find your Nodes and read all about yourself!  I highly recommend checking out this book today!

Unconditional Love vs. Conditional Love .... It's All About the Expectation

For years I have struggled to understand what love is.  I grew up in a household that felt devoid of love and I have always wondered what was missing.

This weekend I had a realization.  There are two kinds of love.  

Unconditional love is the act of doing something to bring someone joy without any expectation of praise.  Your intention is to create joy,  The act itself brings you great happiness.  It is an action that comes from your soul.  It feels good to both the person giving it and the person receiving it.

Conditional love is the act of doing something to bring someone joy with the expectation of receiving praise.  Your intention is to feel good about yourself.  The act causes someone else to bring you happiness with their appreciation of you.  It is an action that comes from your ego.  It feels a little bit good but it is not real and it is not lasting.

When I think back to my childhood I received a ton of conditional love.  My parents made me feel loved when I received good grades and my teachers told them what good parents they were.  My parents made me feel loved when I got the lead role in the school play and other parents told them how adorable I was.  I felt loved when I kept my room neat for guests to see or mastered a recipe for company or got into college early and was in the newspaper.  I felt loved when I was praised for my restaurant behavior or when I was outside weeding the lawn for all the neighbors to see or when I sacrificed going out with friends to stay home with my parents.  

I can't ever remember feeling loved for just being.  I can't ever remember my parents doing anything with or for me just to make me happy.  It was always because they wanted a thank you or they wanted me to learn something new to impress someone.  They loved me ... on the condition that what they gave to me returned a feeling of happiness to them.

Interestingly this goes hand and hand with another lesson of my childhood which was to not do something for nothing!  There always had to be a reward!  So not only did I learn to receive conditional love, I learned to give it as well.  We never put others first, unless it was so we could feel like a martyr.

Having found comfort in this sort of behavior I am pretty sure I spent the rest of my life seeking out relationships with others that were also based on the giving and receiving of conditional love.  

But now that I recognize this, I can toss this limiting belief aside.

And I am looking forward to the happiness I know embracing unconditional love will bring.

Try on Something New... Even If You Are Afraid It Won't Fit

One of the best things about being a kid is being able to try on all sorts of new things to find out what fits you.  You have classes in school and activities your parents plan and playdates with friends and stories your grandparents tell and visits to the library.  You are constantly exposed to new things that you can try on and see how they fit.

As adults I find we already have our pile of things that fit and we don't often try new things on.  In fact we often look at new things and filter them out as "not our size" because they didn't fit in the past or because we think our closet is too full.

So I have decided that once a month I am going to try on something new.  Something that didn't fit in the past or something I have been afraid to try on because I can't imagine it fits.

This month is going to be Thai cooking.  I love Thai food and I love cooking.  But I have never been great with working with Asian flavors and I have had more than a few fails at the dinner table.  I have more than once uttered "I can't cook Asian food."  Well, I'm going to try it on this month.  I am going to invest some effort to really understand the flavors and techniques and I am going to respect that it might not all come to me right away.  But I am going to put on that something new and even if it is a little uncomfortable at first I am going to wear it until I can really make a decision about it and then figure out if it is something I can put in my closet.

Go ahead and try on something new!  You never know, it might just be your new favorite!

Every Moment Is Perfect ... Even the Ones That Are Not Going Your Way

People spend a lot of time wanting things to be a certain way.  And then getting themselves angry when they don't turn out that way. 

 I used to that too.  A LOT!  I would spend weeks in a snit over some special something my child didn't get.  I would put on the ugliest face ever when the insurance company wasn't paying for some procedure.  I would have trouble breathing when my child got sick and I had to rearrange my schedule.  I knew I didn't want to live that way.  I wanted to be one of those people that "go with the flow".

A while ago I realized that I needed to sort out my expectations from reality.  That helped a lot.  I have calmed myself down a lot by understanding that there is a difference between what I want to be happening and what is actually happening and make a plan for how to deal with it.

But recently I have added a very important little mantra when this happens.

"Every Moment Is Perfect."

The second I feel a stab of aggravation, I say to myself, "Every Moment Is Perfect."

Sometimes those moments are filled with so much joy that you can easily see why they are perfect.  Those moments when you see a rainbow breaking out of the clouds or your daughter draws you a picture or you have the best spoonful of ice cream in your mouth.  Those moments are perfect.  Appreciate them!

But sometimes moments don't feel joyful and you have to trust that they are also perfect.  There is a lesson in there for you.  Can you learn to let go of things?  Can you learn to put others first?  Can you learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes?  Can you learn that winning isn't everything?   Can you learn the difference between wants and needs?  There are all sorts of lessons out there that help us to be more joyful and peaceful people but they often come cloaked in a moment that causes fear or anger or aggravation.

If you can stop yourself in the moment of aggravation and say to yourself "Every Moment Is Perfect" and search yourself for what this moment might be trying to teach you, you will find that the moment ceases to be aggravating and instead becomes a moment filled with joy.  When you turn staying home with a sick child who upends your day into a day spent snuggling under the blankets with your favorite person in the world, you can see how the vomit on your shoes was actually perfect!

So the next time you feel that gnawing aggravation, stop and remind yourself that "Every Moment Is Perfect".

How to Actually Enjoy the Christmas Season

Christmas is hands-down my favorite holiday of the year.  I love the twinkling decorations.  I love finding the perfect gift.  I love the food and cookies.  I love the chilly weather.  I even love that Elf on the Shelf.  All these things make me really happy.

But Christmas can also be really stressful because you want to do all of the decorating and gift buying and cooking and creative Elf placements but there just doesn't seem to be time for all of that and they end up becoming chores looming over your head instead of things that bring you joy.  And well, that's just no fun at all.

But you can save yourself from all of that stress by simply planning ahead!

I have figured out that I do the exact same tasks each year for Christmas and I buy gifts for the exact same people so one year I sat down and made a list of everything I do and another list of everyone I buy for.   And I set "weeks until Christmas" dates for everything so that I can spread them out in November and December.  Things like Christmas cards and party menus and Christmas dresses can be done really early.  Decorations and Christmas cookies and gingerbread houses come much close to the big day.  I'm sure if you think about what you do for Christmas each year you can come up with your own list of the things you like to get done and come up with a plan for spreading them all out over a couple of months instead of a couple of weeks!  Once you have the list you really never have to do this part of the planning again unless you add or remove some festive traditions.

Then each year in August I spend a few hours planning out the details for each task.  I look through Christmas cookies I have pinned and pick the ones I want to make and print out the recipes.  I pick the Christmas dinner menu.  I pick out the Christmas card I want.  I figure out any gifts that I might want to make or specific things I know I want to buy.  (I happen to do it in August because once school starts and Halloween costumes loom in my mind, I find it more of a burden than a fun activity but you might like to fill in the details of your list a bit later!)

Each week I take a look at the list and tackle the few tasks that are there.  It is far less overwhelming then trying to cram them all in the two weeks before Christmas so I really get to enjoy them all.  And they are much easier to do if they have already been planned out.  Making Christmas cookies is so much easier if I have already figured out which ones I am making and have the shopping list in hand!

So try a little advance planning this year and see how much more you enjoy the holidays!  

Becoming "Confident Gal" ... The Better Way to Handle When Someone Hates What You Did

This week I have been dealing with an issue.  Well, two really.  The first, is that a woman did not like a cake I made for her daughter's wedding.  The second, is why my insides curled up every time I thought about having a conversation with the woman.

Now, I know that there are very few people out there who would look forward to having a conversation with a person who was criticizing them.  But I know there are people out there who just deal with it instead of becoming a ball of fear.  And I wanted to figure out how I could move from "Ball of Fear" to "Confident Gal".

"Your Opinion Is Not My Reality"

I realized the tip of the problem was how I was allowing myself to be impacted by other people's opinions.  I was reminded of a few of my favorite quotes.. 

"Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."

"The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them."

"Your opinion is not my reality."

Lesson One:  Confident Gal 100% supports what she did.  Unless she realizes she made a mistake.  And then she 100% supports that she made a mistake and deals with it.  She does not care if someone else loved or hated it, she did what she felt was right in the moment without worrying about the past or future.  

Confident Gal is not afraid to listen to what anyone has to say about her or her work because she listens to gather information, not have her opinion replaced with someone else's.

Not Going Down the Fear Hole

Next, I realized that there are people out there who are in fear.  And fear makes them angry or sad or mad.  And people who are in fear want others to be as afraid as they are.  (This happens to be what I tell my kids about bullies but it works for adults to.)  They yell and demean and threaten.  They use rude words and negative tones.  These are the people who are going to sue you because your cupcakes was "disgusting" and "inedible".  They feel good when you are down in the fear hole with them.

These people who are in fear also have an expectation of what will make their fear go away.  Is it a monetary settlement?  Is it slamming you on social media?  Is it just yelling at you?  

Lesson Two:  Confident Gal does not go down the fear hole.  She recognizes the other person's fear and realizes they are doing the best they can with what they have been given in this moment in time.  She can see how the other person is trying to drag her down and she says "no thank you".  She does not give the bully what they want and run away.

Confident Gal is not afraid of dealing with bullies because she refuses to go anywhere with them.  She stands her ground and moves on to the next step.

Uncovering the True Intention

Lastly, I figure out that there are people out there who have a negative opinion of you or something you have done but they don't bully you.  I realized these people are in love.  And while they may not like something, they are not trying to achieve some expectation to make them feel better by bullying others.  

These are the people out there who come into a conversation with the intention of resolving an issue, but no expectation of how it is to be done.  These are the people who call up and say "I wanted to let you know that I was really unhappy with the shade of pink icing you had used" and then wait to hear what you are going to say to fix the problem. 

The key is to turn the bullies into these people in love. 

Lesson Three:  Confident Gal works to uncover the true intention of bullies.  Confident Gal asks questions and gathers information.  Confident Gal makes some guesses about the bully's fears and  true intention and tests her theories.  Confident Gal works with the bully to come up with a solution that achieves the bully's true intention.  

Confident Gal also realizes that sometimes she won't win the bully over and that is okay.  She gave it her all and she feels good about that.

From now on when I encounter a giant critique, I am throwing on my Confident Gal suit and seeing if I can fly!

Be A Little More Surprising!

A few weeks ago, it was my younger daughter's birthday.

She asked to be sprayed with silly string.  Because is what happens on her friend's birthday.

I guess I looked at her funny because she said "You never do anything surprising!"

So I decided that I needed to work on being a little more surprising by doing at least  one unexpected thing each week.

It started with ice cream for breakfast.  Then I did actually spray them with silly string.  Next it was a block-long hopscotch board.  And who knows what next week will hold?  Something that will surprise all of us, I am sure!

A $25 Christmas ... Wrapping Up Cleverness and Creativity

My husband and I have agreed, for the last few years, to only spend $25 on each other for Christmas.

We started this because we just didn't want any more "stuff".  If we really need something, we buy it.  And we have been trying to eliminate collecting any more things that we don't need so buying some expensive gift just to put something under the tree was not something I wanted to do anymore.

But there is something so sad about just agreeing to not exchange holiday gifts so that was not going to work for me either.   I feel like one of the most special things about the holidays is spending time to think about the people you care about in your life and given them a little token that says "I am thinking of you".

  So I set an seemingly ridiculous limit for my husband and I.  $25.  It forced us to listen to each other closely for ideas and then be really creative with purchases and crafts.  It forced us to think ahead and always be on the lookout for something just perfect to add to our collection of gifts.

Last year I went with a Zen theme.  I got a book book on Zen doodling using a 40% off coupon.  I made a Zen garden using a bowl we hadn't used in years and an afternoon on the beach collecting pebbles and sand.  I ran across a little wire Buddhist monk on the sale shelf at a local store.  I made a peaceful piece of art.  And I found a few books on meditation on Bookmooch.  It was such much fun coming up with the idea and then searching and creating.  It was my very favorite part of Christmas last year!

I have already started on my plan for this year!
I challenge you to give it a try yourself!

Minimizing My Stuff ... How I Send Out the Old, And Say 'No' to the New!

I have been on a minimizing mission for the past few years.

My biggest reason was that  I hate that when something doesn't work exactly how we want it, we just replace it instead of trying to be creative to get what we need or gosh forbid, experience a little discomfort.  

So I set out on the mission to not bring anything new into our house unless it was something to be consumed or something we really, really needed and could not get from being creative with what we already have.  And I set out on a mission to pass a lot of the stuff that we no longer need on to others who do.  Here are some of my tips....

Books

I have stopped buying books unless it is a book that I want to have as a lifetime reference or it is a workbook that I am going to write in.  

I use the online book catalog for our library to order almost any book I like.  So easy!

I let my kids enjoy the Scholastic leaflets that come out at school and circle every book they fancy and then they pick one to buy with their allowance money and I get them the rest from the library.

I use Bookmooch to try to get books I really want to have a paper copy of (like cookbooks).  

I also use Bookmooch to pass on the tons of books we have collected over the years and are never going to glance at again. 

Gifts

I have asked the grandparents to give experiences to the kids instead of stuff.   The kids get to see Broadway shows or go to museums or take a class or even just enjoy a movie.   

My husband and I celebrate Christmas by giving each other a $25 limit.  It is the most fun gift selecting and opening we have ever had!  (Last year I got rainbow striped socks, a rainbow of oil pastels, a plastic bead rainbow wind chime and rainbow colored Oreos!)

Where I can, I try to make gifts instead of buy them.    

Clothes

I still buy plenty of new clothes.  Probably less than the average person but I still enjoy having some new things each season and I feel best when my clothes are in good condition and fit well.

For clothes that are in good condition but just don't fit or feel loved anymore, they go in the hand-me-down bag.  Not only do I hand down the kids clothes, but I have a group of girlfriends who I pass around a bag of hand-me-downs with.  I have gotten some really beautiful stuff that way!  

I have also been doing quite a bit of refashioning to give a second life to things that don't make me feel quite so wonderful anymore or for things that my kids have outgrown.  

And for items that are in bad shape, they go into my fabric bin.

Toys, Games and Household Items

I have been selling tons of stuff we no longer use on eBay.  It is really easy once you get the hang of it and it makes me really happy to know that someone is using the stuff I no longer need.

I have to say that I am a much happier person when I have less stuff and I love that I am teaching my kids that there are far better ways to get what you want or need than handing over your credit card!

To Be Said Often .... Words to Bring More Peace to Your Journey

TO BE SAID OFTEN …..

“Every moment is perfect.” …. Set the intention but let go of control of the path.

“Choose love, not fear” … Choose the path of love not fear.  

“How can I make this moment better?”  …… My job is to create more joy and positive energy.  Give more, love more.

“    “ ….. Listen from your soul instead of speaking from your ego.  

“What is my intention?”   … Do not speak or act  to achieve a particular outcome, but instead to learn or create or respond.

“Let me think about that.” ….  React with forgiveness, peace, love and understanding.

“I am grateful.” …. Especially for the people who are part of your lessons.

It All Comes Down to Being the Most Loving You Can Be

I am reading a book right now.  I am not particularly enjoying it but I know I need to finish reading it.  Because even though it is written in a style that I find confusing and hard to follow, I know that there are little bits of information in that that will change my life.

This morning I was thinking about the book and realized that my big take-away has been the idea that the way to find more peace and joy is to be more loving in every moment.  To ask myself "Is this the most loving I can be?"  

Yesterday my daughter had a splinter and after an hour of drama I started to get annoyed.  I was judging her for not being as strong as the other kids.  I was judging her for being so overly dramatic.  Those judgments were not the most loving I could be.  Those judgments were not helping the situation.  Those judgments were in the voice of my mother.  And an old friend.  And a neighbor across the street.  Those judgments were not what I felt in my heart but what I had learned to accept as my own over the years.  

So I stopped judging her and I was the most loving I could be.  I got her through getting the splinter and out and I appreciated that this was very scary for her and I appreciated that this was high on her pain scale.  Then I hugged her and kissed her and got us about our day.  And later on we talked about better ways to handle scary or painful situations.  And I felt great and peaceful and joyful and I bet she did to.

I tried it again this morning without a child raincoat drama and when I wanted a second helping at dinner last night and when a friend asked me to get together and when I was behind a very rude person at the grocery store and when a parent was disregarding all of the rules of the school drop off line.  In every moment I asked myself if I was being the most loving I could be.  

If my answer was "no" then I thought about what I was judging.  I thought about the fact that every moment is perfect and therefore deserves all of my love.  And those moments that feel uncomfortable are still perfect and are holding a lesson for me to help me let go of my judgments and fill that space with love instead.  

I hope this is something I can incorporate into my life in each in every perfect moment.

The Perfect Time for Everything .... Using the Moon for Health and Home

I recently read a great book, The Power of Timing,  about using the moon to determine the best times to do something.  It has proven to be pretty helpful!

The basic theory is that when the moon is waxing (going from New to Full) it is a good time to bring things in and when the moon is waning (going from Full to New) it is a good time to get rid of things.  

There are also things that work best in the signs of particular elements ... Aries, Leo and Sagittarius are Fire, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are Earth, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are Air and Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are Water.  

And as each sign is associated with a part of the body, there are certain times that are better to heal or do surgery on each part of the body.

Here are just a few of the helpful timings I took note of....

AROUND THE HOUSE

Painting - waxing moon, not in Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio

Turn on the Heat -  in Aries, Leo or Sag

Winterize the Windows - in Gemini, Libra or Aqua

Cleaning - waning moon

Laundry - waning moon, in  Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio

Floors - sweep in waxing moon, wash in waning moon

Put Away Clothes for the season - waning moon, in Gemini, Libra or Aqua

Spring Cleaning - in waning moon, in Aqua or Pisces  (this is about removing all of the dust and dirt, not about reorganizing or decluttering)

IN THE GARDEN

Dig Up Beds - first in waxing Leo, then in waning Capricorn, then in waning

Plant Grass - waxing moon, in Virgo

Fertilize - waning moon, in Aries or Sag

Prune - in waxing moon

Weed - waning moon, in Capricorn  and on June 18 until noon
Plant Above Ground Flowers and Veg - waxing moon
Plant Bulbs and Root Veg - waning moon

Plant Tomatoes - waxing moon, in Aries, Leo or Sag

Plant Spinach - waxing moon, in  Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio

Plant Flowers and Herbs - waxing moon, in Gemini, Libra or Aqua

Plant Lettuce - waning moon, in Cancer

Plant Root Veg - waning moon, in Virgo, Capricorn or Taurus

Water Plants -  in Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio, NEVER in Gemini, Libra or Aqua

Harvest - from Sag to Gemini
This calendar has the optimal dates for every region!

BEAUTY

Haircuts - waning moon, in Leo or Virgo (not Pisces or Cancer)

Waxing - waning moon, in Capricorn

Massage - in waxing to rejunvenate, in waning to relax

Reflexology - waning moon, in Pisces

IN THE KITCHEN

Baking Bread - in a Aries, Leo or Sag

THE WEATHER TENDS TO BE

Wet - in Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio

Light and Airy -  in Gemini, Libra or Aqua

Warm -  in a Aries, Leo or Sag

Cool - in Virgo, Capricorn or Taurus

If you want to check out where the moon is on any given date, I love Moontracks.

Words of Love and Kindness.... Written on Your Water Bottle

A few years ago I read The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto.  

The book explains that water exposed to words (or images or sounds) of love and kindness becomes so filled with positive energy that it turns into beautiful ice crystals when frozen.  It also explains that water exposed to negative words is so filled with negativity that malformed ice crystals are created.  

We all know that our bodies are made up mostly of water.  So one would be able to infer that drinking water that has been exposed to words of love and kindness would bring the positive energy generated into our bodies.

I loved this idea and so I created custom water bottles over at CafePress for my daughters.  Each bottle has a loving and kind quote or word on it.  I hope it brings my girls an extra bit of positive energy each day!

How to Be the Person You Are Truly Meant to Be ... By Picking To Do the Things That Bring You Joy

I have fought a long hard battle to be the person I am truly meant to be.  Instead of the person everyone expects me to be.  I still have some skirmishes now and again but I feel really quite victorious!

But now I have recognized that my 10 year old daughter is waging the same war.  She is small and quiet and lives inside her imagination.  She like Legos and Minecraft and fairies and brussel sprouts. She barely answers when an adult talks to her and she is scared of most movies and roller coasters and butterflies.   She feels different from the other girls in her class and from her sister and from her friends and it bothers her.  Because she is trying to be the person everyone expects her (a 10 smart, beautiful 10 year old girl) to be instead of the person she is. 

And I want to teach her what I have learned.

To be the person I am truly meant to be.  A person who shines with a radiantly positive light.

By doing what brings me joy and to doing away with avoiding the things that cause me fear.

I have learned to ask myself  "What is my intention?"  before doing anything.  Before I agree to a lunch date on a jam-packed day.  Before I sign up to run the Book Fair.  Before I have a conference with a teacher.  Before I comment on a Facebook post.

Once I am clear on my intention, I decide if what I am doing is bringing me joy or if what I am doing is just running away from something I am afraid of.    Am I having lunch with a friend because I really want to see her or because I am afraid of making her mad if I say I can't make the time that day?  Am I volunteering at school because I want to support the kids and teachers or because I am afraid I will be looked down upon for not helping?  Am I going to the conference to hear the teacher's expert opinion or because I want to blame her for my child's challenges?  Am I commenting on Facebook because I really want to express a feeling or because I want to remind the poster how important I am in their life?

If I am doing something because it brings me joy then that is fabulous!  I let myself shine on!

If I am doing something in an attempt to avoid bad feelings or cover over bad feelings, then I stop and look deeper into those bad feelings.   Why am I afraid to put myself before others?  Why am I afraid to say 'no'?  Why do I need to assign blame for an issue?  Why do I need to be seen as important?   Why am I afraid to just be myself?

Even if I can't get to the bottom of those bad feelings, I can let go of the need to do something that does not bring me joy just to avoid them.

And this is what I want to teach my daughter.  To not go along with things that don't make her feel good just to try to avoid feeling bad.   I want her to keep playing Legos and Minecraft  and believe in fairies and eat her brussel sprouts even if none of her friends do. And I want her to tell her friends about  how happy those things make her.  I want her to be polite to adults even if she does not want engage in lengthy conversation.  And I want her to feel proud of herself for having beautiful manners and a happy smile.  I want her to wait at the bottom of the roller coaster while her friends take a ride.  And I want her to be excited for them when they come off and let them share all of their scary moments.   I want her to be herself.  And be full of joy and a radiantly positive light.

(I always want her to know that sometimes we need to do things that don;t bring us so much joy in order to have things that bring us lots of joy ... like taking ballet in order to be dance team, like paying taxes in order to live in the US, like taking tests in order to attend a certain school... but that is a post for another time!)

Increasing the Positive Energy of Your Home .... A Little Bit of Feng Shui

Every spring I do a Feng Shui re-assessment of my home and business.  I like to make sure that over the year I have not created any energy problems and I like to try to add in a few more things to bring an even more positive flow.

Feng Shui is a method for helping the energy of your space to flow in a most positive, balanced way.  There are some great books out there to help you understand Feng Shui and I really love this article from About.com, but here are a few notes I have made for myself to help me each year.

BAGUA AREAS

Feng Shui assigns an area of your life (bagua) to each area of your house with your front door being somewhere on bottom plane of the chart below.  

MONEY	REPUTATION	LOVE
FAMILY/HEALTH	CENTER	CHILDREN/CREATIVITY
PERSONAL GROWTH	CAREER	HELPFUL PEOPLE/BLESSINGS

ELEMENTS SUPPORTING BAGUA AREAS

Each of these areas is supported by an element .. earth, wood, water, fire or metal.  In the area, you want to give as much support to that element as you can.  You can do this by incorporating the colors and items that are related to that element.  You can also incorporate colors and items from the element that feeds the element in your area and you can remove colors and items from the element that destroys the element in your area.

MONEY Wood  (water+, metal-)	REPUTATION Fire (wood+, water-)	LOVE Earth (fire+, wood-)
FAMILY/HEALTH Wood (water+, metal-)	CENTER Earth  (fire+, wood-)	CHILDREN/CREATIVITY Metal (earth+, fire-)
PERSONAL GROWTH Earth  (fire+, wood-)	CAREER Water (metal+, earth-)	HELPFUL PEOPLE/BLESSINGS Metal (earth+, fire-)

Feeds

Water -->Wood--> Fire--> Earth--> Metal

Destroys

Wood -->Earth--> Water--> Fire--> Metal

COLORS AND ELEMENTS SUPPORTING ELEMENTS

The colors and items that support each element are as follows ....

Wood: Green/Brown/Purple'Gold, plants, wood items

Fire: Red/orange/purple/pink/yellow, candles, lighting, leather, animal items

Earth: light yellow/sand. crystals and rocks, pottery

Metal: white/gray, metal

Water: blue/black, water, mirrors, images of water, glass

INSPIRATIONAL ITEMS SUPPORTING BAGUA AREAS

You can also add in items that support the energy of the bagua areas by picking things that inspire you in that area of your life ... family photos in Family/Heath, a jar of pennies in Money, etc.  You can select items that speak to you are can search around for some of the traditional items that supports each section.  This article discusses some of the traditional elements.

CLUTTER

One of the most useful things to do to support the positive energy of your home is to remove the clutter!  Energy cannot flow if it is all blocked up by stacks of papers and piles of laundry.

STRUCTURAL ISSUES

Another big part of Feng Shui is looking at the flow of energy around the furniture and structural items, like windows, of your home.  This article talks about some of the most common energy flow problems.

While I am not an expert in Feng Shui, I have implemented a lot of these small tips and have found them to make a positive impact on the energy in my home.  

Space Clearing ... Uplifting the Energy in Your Home

I can remember "spring cleaning" as one of my earliest memories. Perhaps because it was a family affair whereas weekly cleaning was something my mom did while we were at school or outside playing. But since it is one of those special childhood memories, it is a tradition I have kept up with my own home and family. But I have added the tradition of space clearing.

Space clearing is basically revitalizing the energy of a space through a ritual.

I learned about space clearing in the book Sacred Space: Clearing and Enhancing the Energy of Your Home by Denise Linn. And from the book I developed my own ritual for space clearing my home after I have finished my spring cleaning.

I set an intention for the year for my home and those who dwell in it.

I assemble a tray of items I will use to clear the energy in each room ... salt (or a flower or herbs) for Earth, water mixed with essential oils for Water, candles (or incense) for Light and a bell for Air.

Then I move from room to room with my tray and in each room I leave a little glass of salt, light candle, mist the room and ring the bell. Then I ask for the energy of the room to be clean and positive.

A while later I blow out the candles. And a week or so later, I remove the salt.

The ritual is quite simple and when I have finished I have such a lovely feeling in my home! But I am a firm believer that you are free to create your own ritual, the important thing is that you are expressing your intention to have positive energy flowing through your home.

(I also repeat the ritual throughout the year if there has been significant negativity or illness in a particular room or the house.)

Discovering the Perfect Way to Spend the Day ... By Picturing It Is Your Last

I did an exercise where I imagined how I would like to spend my last day on earth.

I decided I would ...

- stay in my pajamas

- read books in bed to my kids

- drink champagne 

- snuggle on the couch with my kids and watch a movie

- cook something with my kids

- give something special of mine to each of my kids

-hug and kiss my kids

- look at old photos

- sew something

- eat sushi

- have a slumber party with my kids

The day looked perfect to me.  And I decided I should not save a perfect day for my last on earth.  So I have promised to have at least one of these days each year!  I can't wait for my first "last day"!

How to Eliminate Fear ... Realize that Every Moment is Perfect

I have been struggling with the concept of letting go of my need to control the outcome of things and trusting that all things are working together for my greater good.  

I discovered that I want to control things because I have a lot of fear of not knowing what is going to happen.   But deep down inside I know that I am controlling to eliminate fear but in reality trusting is what truly eliminates fear from out lives.  I can trust that every moment is perfect, exactly the joy I am meant to be feeling or the lesson I am meant to be learning.  I can pay close attention to that moment and get the most out of it.   I can create positive energy in my life.  Or I can fight against what is happening at this moment and try to change and control it and be afraid of what will happen if I can't have things my way and wallow in the negative energy this generates.

THE PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY

I believe that everyone's purpose on this earth is to generate positive energy.  There are lots of ways to increase your positive energy but the main one is to continue to work towards fulfilling your soul purpose, the reason you are living this life.  Along with listening deeply to yourself, I believe that your astrology birth chart can show you where you are meant to go.

There is a path that leads to realizing your soul purpose.  There is a straight line that leads from birth that is easy to follow if you live in the moment and follow what you hear deeply inside yourself.  When you follow this path you generate enormous amounts of positive energy for yourself and others.  You feel great and look great and are happy.   (I think children are really good at following straight along this path because they are really great at listening to themselves... that is until they become used to listening to what we tell them!)  On this path you enjoy every moment as perfect, whether it is an opportunity or a lesson.  You know some people on this path.  They are the ones that handle what life throws at them, not matter how bad, with grace and acceptance.

CHOICES ALONG THE WAY

Along the path there are events that happen.  I believe that these events can be read in astrology. These events create a choice to continue straight on the path or to be led off the path.  Sometimes the events are little (order steak or fish for dinner?)  and sometimes they are big (go to college or travel for a few years?).  Usually one choice generates the most positive energy and keeps you on the path to realizing your soul purpose and one choice leads you away.  This moment of choice is perfect.  It is a moment of looking quietly inside yourself to see the answer.  

But for many this is a moment of fear.  What's going to happen if we choose the steak instead of the fish?  Am I going to be unhappy with my dinner?  Am I going to put on 2 pounds?  What about college versus traveling?  Am I going to feel trapped if I stay or will I fall behind if I go?  We are afraid of making the choice because we are trying to control the outcome by doing things, by figuring things out, instead of just listening to what our heart says. 

Most of us cannot hear so deeply inside ourselves at all times, or even some of the time, because we have so many blocks to our energy from past traumas.  Instead of being able to listen to ourselves tell us what we need to generate positive energy, we are busy trying to get that energy from outside ourselves or we are busy protecting what we already have.  So many times instead of listening deep within ourselves and choosing the option that feeds our heart and generates the positive energy, we listen to the outside and choose the options that feeds our ego or our need for logic and generates money, power or fame.  And these choices lead us off the path.

STRAYING FROM THE PATH

Many times in our lives we stray off the path.  Sometimes a little, sometimes really far.  And the universe will intervene to guide you back on the path by providing events (again, you can see these written in astrology) that cause you to stop and pay attention and realize you are off the path.  I am pretty sure the universe is sending these messages when we stray even a little from the path.  I think these come in the form of life's little frustrations like an annoying neighbor or a minor injury.   But I think most of us are so blocked that we can not see these little messages as hints that we need to make changes and we only pay attention when the message comes in loud and clear through a major illness or financial issue and relationship difficulty. 

This is a time that generates a lot of fear.  Because we want to control the outcome.  Badly.  

But the moment of these crisis, big or small, are perfect.  They are opportunities to learn.  To trust that the universe is guiding us through our lessons.  A time to say to ourselves..."This is what is meant to be happening.  What is it teaching me?  What is this discomfort pointing at that I need to heal.?" 

Many of us get the message at some point and work our way back towards the path by tuning in to ourselves and following our hearts.  We learn the lessons and heal some of the traumas that we have been carrying around.   We get back on the path, or closer to it, and begin generating more positive energy.  We feel better and look better and are happier. 

Sadly there are some people who do not learn the lessons and continue further away from the path while generating more and more negative energy.  I think that when we choose to fight against the universe and continue to stray, we are setting ourselves up to bring these unlearned lessons back in our next life.  

HOW TO STAY ON THE PATH

The first step is to trust that you have the answers to all of the little choices in your life if you listen deeply inside yourself.  That is much easier to do if you are not holding on to lots of negative energy.  And it is sometimes helpful to use things like meditation or a pendulum or tarot cards to help you listen more deeply.   If you have listened to your own voice, you will be fine.   Be in that perfect moment with yourself!

Now, if you stray from the path you need to trust the universe to get you back on.  When the crisis hits, you need to trust that this is just the universe getting you back on track.  And instead of trying to control what happens, you need to listen closely.  Remember that the moment is perfect.  You are where you are meant to be.  You can learn and heal.  You do not need to try to control.

 Always remember, this is where you are meant to be.   Every moment is perfect.