Weekly Podcast: Enjoy School Again

An interview with author and coach, Pascale, from enjoyschoolagain.com.

I Homeschool My Kids So They Know How to Find Their Own Path

I homeschool my kids because I want them to know, from as soon as possible, that there is a different path for everyone.  Maybe not "know", but "remember".

When my kids were toddlers and in preschool, I loved watching them.

I used to watch with such excitement how they stopped and noticed everything.  Every crack in the sidewalk, every little flower on the page of a book, every cloud in the sky.

I used to watch with such excitement how they wondered out loud about things they saw or heard.  Why is the sky blue?  Who was that man? How can the wolf blow down the house?

I used to watch with such excitement how made choices to do things that made them happy instead of just doing what they were told. Stickers on their face instead of the page.  Wearing a fancy party dress to school.  Mixing all the playdough together.

I loved their curiosity and interest and passion.

As they moved on through elementary school I started to notice how they only paid attention to getting the answer to the question.  How they never questioned or discussed.  How they were worried that their projects might look different that what the teacher wanted.  I hated how they had lost their curiosity and were only focused on the "right answer".  Getting the answer that everyone else was going to give.

My defining moment was the reading comprehension question, "What do you think the author meant by ...?".  My daughter labored over it.  There were tears.  It was so open ended.  How could she know what the right answer was.  I loved it.  I made her re-read parts and encouraged her to share what she noticed.  I engaged in discussion with her about her thoughts.   I supported her in choosing an answer that felt good to her.  And she handed it in.  And got it wrong.

HOW CAN YOU GET THE ANSWER WRONG TO "WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

In addition, we had science fair project ideas turned down because they could not fit in the rubric.  We had creative ways to do a boring weekly web search rejected.  We had correct math answers marked wrong because the method used was not the one taught in class.  

I realized that school was teaching my kids that there is only one right answer.  

That there is only one path.  

And that was not a lesson I wanted my kids to learn.  

So now they are homeschooled.

I create assignments for them that require an answer or opinion or report or creation.

I share my expectations about what the assignment should include.

And then I let them be free to discover the path that works for them.

I want them to be curious enough to do research and play around with things.

I want them to be interested enough to talk about what they are learning about.

I want them to be passionate enough to create something that feels good and feels authentic.

I want them to love what they produce, even if it doesn't look like everyone else's.

I want them to take this lesson with them through college and career and life.

The lesson that following your own path is the only "right" way.

Summer Guidelines for Screentime

My kids have had phones for years since we shut off our house phone and always wanted them to be able to make a phone call in case of emergency and then it became useful when they walked to school alone.  For years they barely touched their phones.

But this past year they seem to be much more attached.  We have made sure that there are no phones at mealtime and phones are put away when friends are over.  But beyond that we have had few rules because they are pretty busy during the school year and their use does not seem excessive.  Except maybe a little on their one day off from school and dance.

I realized that summer may become a bit more involved in their technology.  I am not a big fan of setting limits but would rather give them some guidelines and let them manage themselves. I feel like guidelines will help them to build healthy habits that they can use for a lifetime.

I found an app called Unglue to help them see how much time they are spending and I wrote up some guidelines to help them use technology in a positive way.

TECHNOLOGY PLAN FOR THE SUMMER

85% of your awake day spent on things that help you grow.... being out in nature, creating, doing something physical, taking care of yourself and others, engaging with others, learning, just being.  This would be 10 hours per day.  Divide your time evenly between technology and non-technology during the day, 5 hours each.

Technology

• drawing apps
• making a video
• coding
• writing
• take an online fitness class
• Facetime with a friend
• texting a friend
• emailing a friend
• talk to a friend on the phone
• exploring on a topic that interests you (videos, articles, groups),
• brain games
• listen to music

Non-technology

• being outside
• going to the beach club
• art on paper
• using a  journal activity books
• singing
• acting
• dancing
• crafts
• building projects
• walking or hiking
• swimming
• doing your nails
• cooking
• organizing your room
• getting together with friends
• watching a family movie or tv show
• writing to your penpal
• reading a book
• taking a class
• playing a game
• doing a puzzle

15% of your day on other tasks on things that do not provide any growth value.  This would be 2 hours per day.

• social media
• most games
• most YouTube videos
• TV shows alone in your room

Before you pick up any technology you will …

• Make your bed
• Get dressed (unless it is an agreed pajama day)
• Brush hair and teeth
• Eat breakfast and clean up
• Straighten your room
• Take care of any laundry

Before you pick up your phone, ask, what else could I be doing?!

The Goal of Education is to Learn

“You'll never know everything about anything, especially something you love.” 
― Julia Child

My oldest daughter is about to be a freshman in high school. (Yikes!)

Since she is homeschooled that means that I need to get a little bit on the ball about college.  Because I want to understand the requirements for homeschoolers and be sure that I am tracking and recording and planning in a way that provides her with all of the "stuff" she will need to apply.

So I set about researching some colleges that she might be interested in (art program, small school, not to far away) and browsed around majors and courses and requirements.

At some schools, I found majors so perfect for her and so interesting I actually emailed them to her!  At other schools, I loved the environment and thought she would love living there but then the courses that were required were just not things that would excite her.

I am so excited for the thought that in a couple of years she gets to browse through all this stuff and visit and figure out what she is excited to learn about and where she will want to do that.  

I can't wait for her to continue to learn about what sets her soul on fire!

And then I had dinner with a few friends who have kids heading off to college.

And their excitement about college for their kids was entirely different.

It was about what job did they want to have 4 years from now and which college would hand them a diploma that was be the fastest ticket to that job.

The only excitement was about the campus and the sports teams and the sororities.

There was not one mention of being excited about what they would learn.

And that made me sad.

Because education is meant to be about learning.

It is about growing and questioning and exploring.

It is about becoming a lover of learning and keeping that love throughout your life.

Because the greatest minds do not stop learning once they are handed a diploma.

People like Elon Musk, Benjamin Franklin, Frank Lloyd Wright, Florence Nightingale,Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, Henry David Thoreau, Nelson Mandela, the Wright Brothers, and Ansel Adams are just a few examples of lifelong learners. 

They are (or were!) constantly seeking knowledge through experiences and mentors and books and classes.

They were curious and asked questions and sought answers.

They did not learn something as a means to an end, the learning was always the goal.  

And what they learned they incorporated into their being and carried them along to the next great question or discovery.  

But so many of today's kids don't know that the goal of their education is learning.

Learning about what lights their soul on fire.

Changing their being through learning.

Many of today's kids thing that education is about a test result, a grade, and a diploma.

They learn what they need to to get an A and then let the knowledge go.  Because it did not change them.  It did not touch them.  They learned it because they had to, not because they wanted to.

My greatest hope for today's kids is that they change their beliefs about education.

That they stop looking at education as a means to an end.

That they start looking at education as an opportunity to learn about what you love from the very best and with the very best.

That they see education as a way to change their being.

That they seek to learn long after their formal education is over.

My greatest hope is a generation of lifelong learners.

So challenge yourself to stop taking a class or reading a book or asking a question because you think it is going to get you somewhere.
Challenge yourself to ask questions about things that you wonder about, talk to interesting people, read a blog or book for pleasure, take a class that excites you.  Learn about things because you want to, not because you need to.
And never stop!

Mindful Summer Series

Mindful Schools is sponsoring a free online community practice series from July 2 - August 12 that shows how mindfulness can be applied to daily life. 

Register at Mindful Summer.

"School of Greatness" ... Self- Development for Young Adults

I am, admittedly, a self-development book junkie.  

I love learning about different ways to lead a more exceptional life ... to be happier, to be healthier, and to make a better contribution to this world.

Some of the books are full of ideas I have already worked with but there is always something new for me to learn or be inspired by.

I could recommend dozens of books to you!

But until now I could never recommend one to my teens.

"The School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a Legacy" by Lewis Howes is a book every young adult should read.

Here's 3 reasons why ...

1. Lewis Gives You Just the Basics

This is a great introductory self-development book for not just young adults, but for everyone.  

Lewis covers intention setting and visualization and meditation and gratitude, among other things.  All the basics that you need to get started on your journey to a more exceptional life. 

He doesn't give you too much.  But he gives you just enough for you to get started easily.

It is just enough for a young adult to digest.

2. Lewis is One of the Guys

Lewis is really approachable.

He is sensitive and funny.  He is not afraid to support you or to kick you in the butt.   He is a real guy.

He writes to you as if he is in the room talking with you, which is a must for young adults.

3. Lewis is a Great Storyteller

Lewis' stories are about people who are really engaging.

The people he has met are both totally normal and totally exceptional.

They are great illustrations of how anyone with the right mindset can achieve all they desire. 

His stories tell of people who start from nothing and achieve great success in business, of people who are challenged with great physical handicaps and climb mountains, of people who overcome really hard times to create a life they love.

They are people like you and I.  You relate to them and you fall in love with them. 

Not only are the subjects of his stories unique and interesting, Lewis really knows how to weave an engaging tale.

The stories are woven throughout all of the book and will serve to really engage young adults in the content.

This is a must-read for all high school and college kids!

My Homeschool Philosophy

The other day I was taking a class and something that the teacher said just stuck with me.

Every moment is an opportunity to create a better version of yourself.

It was sort of life-changing.  And then I thought ... wait, that is really what guides how I homeschool.

I decided to homeschool primarily because I felt that my kids were just rushing through the motions and getting done exactly what they had do to get the right answer.  In school and really, in life.   They weren't stopping to look at each moment and decide how to get the most joy out of it, how to use what they experienced in a positive way.  And I wanted them to.  I wanted them to notice and I wanted them to wonder.  And I wanted them to take those experiences inside their temple of self to create a beautiful, special place.  (Name of the blog, get it?)

Notice and Wonder

The first part of my philosophy is the Notice and Wonder part.  The part where I offer them moments and opportunities.

We don't use a standard curriculum.  Everything we learn is based on experiences.  We pick a topic each month and then I pull a ton of books (fiction and non-fiction) from the library, look for online courses, plan field trips, come up with writing projects (research, persuasive and creative), search out some science experiments and observations, schedule a culture day, find dozens of videos, and create a math workbook.  All having to do with the topic.   We have studied witches, the Victorian Era, immigration,  musical theater, Native Americans, Hamilton, culinary arts, and much more!  Our past curriculums can be found here.

I think the topic-based curriculum works so well because we get so immersed in the topic and everything becomes interconnected.  Certain things make us ask more questions and other things reinforce what we learned.  We are constantly noticing trends and things that seem out of place and wondering about a name dropped in a video or a connection that appears to be between two things we learned about.

Just today we were looking at a map of Salem, MA.  It showed the location of the houses of the accused and the accusers.  One of my kids wondered if the people she was reading about in her book about Salem had houses on the map and then are they still there and can we go see them when we visit.  The other was busy noticing that the people accused had houses closer to water and the town and perhaps wasn't that the best real estate and might that have contributed to who was accused?  I love that they took that moment as an opportunity to go deeper and get more.  I love that they noticed and wondered!

Temple

The other part of my philosophy is the Temple part.  The part where we create a better version of ourselves.

When I started homeschooling I was pretty concerned that I wasn't covering all of the things I needed to because I wasn't covering exactly what the school was covering.  I worried that my kids would fall behind or fail their SATs or never go to college because of what I was doing.  Then I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I am not preparing my kids to do well on a test so they can get into a good college.  I am preparing my kids to be the best version of themselves which will enable them to do anything they want.

Now what I consider to be the best version of someone and what someone else considers to be the best version might differ in the specifics.  I am all about clean hair and my one kid might be going down the road to some smelly dreadlocks.  But I came up with a list that left a lot of room for individuality but really felt to me like the 5 traits I wanted my kids to go out into the world with.

Be determined.

Be observant.

Be kind.

Be joyful.

Be authentic.

Our day touches on these things as we meditate together every morning, we keep a gratitude journal, we wander around just checking things out, we talk about current events and when we are brought to tears we donate or write letters or knit glove to do what little we can, we laugh, we take days off to just snuggle on the couch to read or go see a movie while everyone else is in school, we make and eat lunch together every day, we teach each other things, we talk for hours about our our experiences and our feelings, we ask how we can help each other achieve our dreams.

And for every "school" project, we do I try to guide them to grow in these areas.  I recently asked them to write a biography for someone from the Victorian Era.  Being determined meant helping them to create a plan and an outline, coaching them through research, and encouraging them to proofread and edit.  Being observant meant asking them to think about not just putting facts on the paper but looking at what questions they brought up and going out to find the answers.  Being kind meant giving themselves a breather when they needed it and providing encouragement to each other.  Being joyful meant finding a person that you really wanted to know about, which for one was at first a fictional character form a Victorian Era book.  And being authentic meant encouraging them to write in their own style.

This philosophy helps me step back every day and remind myself that I am guiding them to learn and giving them opportunities to grow.  I am taking them on a journey, not expecting them to achieve a particular result.  And that their entire lives are spent living that in Temple of Notice and Wonder, taking every moment in and using it to their best and most joyful.

I Am a Reformed Inadequate Child

I am a reformed inadequate child. 

A child who pushed her passions aside because they were not what she "should" do.  A child her pursued talents that she did not enjoy because she "should" not waste them.  A child who was told what success "should" look like.

​

I was the child who followed a life that well-meaning parents and teachers thought best for me.  

And that conflicted with what set my soul on fire.

​

And that conflict shouted loudly to me each day "It is not okay to be yourself."

​

After years of exploration far out into the Universe and deep down inside myself, I have found what sets my soul on fire and I have transformed my life from mediocre to exceptional. 

A life where I get to be my authentic self every day.