Friday, December 7, 2018
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
This past week, I was contemplating those three little words.
As a child those words were something I just threw out because I was supposed to.
And as a young adult those words were something I said to gain approval.
As an adult those words were something used as a response to someone else's "I love you."
But as an adult I have stopped to ask myself what those words really mean.
I have asked myself because I am at this point in my self-development where I want to be truly authentic.
And the other day I responded to someone else's "I love you" with my own. And then I thought, ummmm, do I really? Do I really "love" them? What does that really mean?
I am at a point in my life that for each decision I make, I want to reach down deep in side and truly know what I am feeling, what issues and bad beliefs I need to deal with, and what positive action I want to take.
This applies to big decisions. And to the utterance of a few little words.
After a lot of introspection about past relationships and present ones, I realized that I feel these words deep in my soul at a particular moment in time.
At the moment when someone looks deep within in me, sees what is inside my soul, and honors that.
At the moment when someone is allowing me to see what is inside their soul and allowing me to honor that.
It may be when someone sees that I am hurting and holds out a hand to me.
It may be when someone sees that I have been vulnerable with a piece of art and acknowledges my authenticity and courage.
It may be when someone looks at me and kisses me like I am the air they need to breath.
It may be when someone sees that I am overwhelmed and helps me.
It is when someone provides me with this kindness without announcing what they are doing, without looking for my thanks.
It is when they do this because they have looked into my soul, understood what would raise my level of joy, and went about doing it for the pure pleasure of seeing me happy.
To me, "I love you" means "Thank you for looking into my soul and truly seeing me."
And it also means, "Thank you for allowing me to look into your soul."
When you look into the eyes of your newborn baby.
When your partner allows you to see their pain over a disappointment.
When you catch your teenager being childlike and loving.
And it also means, when I say it at the end of a phone conversation or a visit or a day, "Thank you for allowing me to look into your soul."
And it serves as a reminder to stop and be grateful for those moments that happen between us where I was offered a glimpse into the depths of their heart.
It has become a most beautiful practice for me.
My discovery of what "I love you" really means to me has allowed me to treat those three little words with so much more reverence and gratitude.
I encourage you to spend some time with "I love you", too!