Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Monday, December 17, 2018
5 Teachers Who Will Change Your Life
I love learning. I think my goal is to be a lifelong student!
But I also love playing teacher and passing on the amazing things I have learned.
As we head into a season of hibernation and reflection, I want to introduce you to my five favorite teachers. Perhaps you will snuggle up this winter with some of them!
Mindvalley by Vishen Lakhiani
My go-to place for learning about myself is Mindvalley.
Mindvalley provides free self-development courses and poscasts, paid courses, and my favorite, Quests, which are mini-courses that you do with a "tribe". Vishen Lakhiani's catalog of online resources feels limitless but there are also in-person events and an exceptional Facebook community that never ceases to inspire.
I have taken courses in meditation, feng shui, energy medicine, life planning, health, and so much more.
There is something for everyone and I encourage you to find something from Mindvalley that will set your transformation in motion.
Daily Om by Madisyn Taylor
Every morning when I wake up, there is a little but of inspiration waiting in my inbox from Daily Om.
Daily Om provides short little articles that spark reflection about your mind, body, and soul. Madisyn Taylor provides just the right amount of inspiration to start you reflecting on yourself and your beliefs each day. Daily Om also has a catalog of courses you can take on topics like communication, relationships, yoga, and meditation.
Daily Om is the perfect way to start your day!
Lifebook by Jon Butcher
If I had to pick one thing that transformed my life from mediocre to exceptional, it would have to be Lifebook.
Lifebook is a sort of like goal setting, but so much more. The course asks you to look at the 12 areas of your life (like love relationships, intellect, health, finance, etc) and dig deep to understand your beliefs about this area of your life, what your purpose is in this area of your life, and what action you are going to take. Throughout the course, Jon Butcher steps you through each area with instructions and inspirational stories until you have created a manual for how you want to live your life. Mine is over 100 pages and is laced with inspirational quotes and photos. I look at a different section each day to remind myself of the life I am going to live that day.
While Lifebook is a substantial investment of your time and money, it is the most worthwhile investment I have ever made.
Wildfit by Eric Edmeades
After many years of working on transforming my emotional and spiritual life, I realized that I also need to transform my body to allow my energy to flow more freely. And Wildfit guided me to do just that.
Wildfit is a program that aims to change your relationship with food. The program is 90 days and consists of short daily (and towards the end, weekly) videos from founder Eric Edmeades. Each video is educational and inspriational and empowers and supports you to make the weekly changes to your diet. During the course of the program I added significantly more nutrients and water into my diet, gave up my daily Diet Coke, reduced my wine intake, and easily eliminated pasta, sugar and processed food from my life. I lost 16 pounds, sleep better, and have more energy and focus to get things done each day. I feel so clean!!! (I will admit that I added a few things back into my diet after about 8 months, just to see, and I feel the difference in a bad way. I restarted to program last week to have the support to eliminate these items for good.)
If you are ready to transform your body, Wildfit can help you do it.
Unlimited Abundance by Christie Marie Sheldon
I don't really want to put Christie on my list because I don't really enjoy her program, but it really works. (I think I don't enjoy the program because it seems to easy!!! I like to do that deep digging and problem solving. It is also a little hard to figure out as there really is no beginning, you sort of just jump in wherever.)
Unlimited Abundance is a series of sessions that help you to clear blocks to your abundance. I have only been doing the program for a few months but I have manifested thousands of dollars in unexpected ways, a free trip to a 5-star health spa, a dream job, and more. AND I feel like I have faith in myself that I can have anything that I want without having to force it to come to me. Christie teaches you a process of intention setting that really feels true and teaches you to easily clear the blocks you have that hold you back.
If you are looking to increase your abundance, check out Unlimited Abundance and see what it can do for you.
I encourage you to pick the teacher who speaks to you and set out on a season of learning a new way to transform yourself.
But I also love playing teacher and passing on the amazing things I have learned.
As we head into a season of hibernation and reflection, I want to introduce you to my five favorite teachers. Perhaps you will snuggle up this winter with some of them!
Mindvalley by Vishen Lakhiani
My go-to place for learning about myself is Mindvalley.
Mindvalley provides free self-development courses and poscasts, paid courses, and my favorite, Quests, which are mini-courses that you do with a "tribe". Vishen Lakhiani's catalog of online resources feels limitless but there are also in-person events and an exceptional Facebook community that never ceases to inspire.
I have taken courses in meditation, feng shui, energy medicine, life planning, health, and so much more.
There is something for everyone and I encourage you to find something from Mindvalley that will set your transformation in motion.
Daily Om by Madisyn Taylor
Every morning when I wake up, there is a little but of inspiration waiting in my inbox from Daily Om.
Daily Om provides short little articles that spark reflection about your mind, body, and soul. Madisyn Taylor provides just the right amount of inspiration to start you reflecting on yourself and your beliefs each day. Daily Om also has a catalog of courses you can take on topics like communication, relationships, yoga, and meditation.
Daily Om is the perfect way to start your day!
Lifebook by Jon Butcher
If I had to pick one thing that transformed my life from mediocre to exceptional, it would have to be Lifebook.
Lifebook is a sort of like goal setting, but so much more. The course asks you to look at the 12 areas of your life (like love relationships, intellect, health, finance, etc) and dig deep to understand your beliefs about this area of your life, what your purpose is in this area of your life, and what action you are going to take. Throughout the course, Jon Butcher steps you through each area with instructions and inspirational stories until you have created a manual for how you want to live your life. Mine is over 100 pages and is laced with inspirational quotes and photos. I look at a different section each day to remind myself of the life I am going to live that day.
While Lifebook is a substantial investment of your time and money, it is the most worthwhile investment I have ever made.
Wildfit by Eric Edmeades
After many years of working on transforming my emotional and spiritual life, I realized that I also need to transform my body to allow my energy to flow more freely. And Wildfit guided me to do just that.
Wildfit is a program that aims to change your relationship with food. The program is 90 days and consists of short daily (and towards the end, weekly) videos from founder Eric Edmeades. Each video is educational and inspriational and empowers and supports you to make the weekly changes to your diet. During the course of the program I added significantly more nutrients and water into my diet, gave up my daily Diet Coke, reduced my wine intake, and easily eliminated pasta, sugar and processed food from my life. I lost 16 pounds, sleep better, and have more energy and focus to get things done each day. I feel so clean!!! (I will admit that I added a few things back into my diet after about 8 months, just to see, and I feel the difference in a bad way. I restarted to program last week to have the support to eliminate these items for good.)
If you are ready to transform your body, Wildfit can help you do it.
Unlimited Abundance by Christie Marie Sheldon
I don't really want to put Christie on my list because I don't really enjoy her program, but it really works. (I think I don't enjoy the program because it seems to easy!!! I like to do that deep digging and problem solving. It is also a little hard to figure out as there really is no beginning, you sort of just jump in wherever.)
Unlimited Abundance is a series of sessions that help you to clear blocks to your abundance. I have only been doing the program for a few months but I have manifested thousands of dollars in unexpected ways, a free trip to a 5-star health spa, a dream job, and more. AND I feel like I have faith in myself that I can have anything that I want without having to force it to come to me. Christie teaches you a process of intention setting that really feels true and teaches you to easily clear the blocks you have that hold you back.
If you are looking to increase your abundance, check out Unlimited Abundance and see what it can do for you.
I encourage you to pick the teacher who speaks to you and set out on a season of learning a new way to transform yourself.
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Friday, December 14, 2018
Monday, December 10, 2018
"A Year of You" ... 52 Weeks of Transformation
Make 2019 your best year ever by dedicating an entire year to YOU!
If you are ready to start living a life filled with less stress and more joy then this workbook is for you!
"A Year of You" provides you with simple exercises and activities each week that will help you to begin transforming your life.
The practices that I share those that I have collected and personally worked with over the years. They changed my life and they will change yours.
The format of the workbook is fun, the time commitment is minimal, and the results are magical!
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Friday, December 7, 2018
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
What "I Love You" Really Means
This past week, I was contemplating those three little words.
I. Love. You.
As a child those words were something I just threw out because I was supposed to.
And as a young adult those words were something I said to gain approval.
As an adult those words were something used as a response to someone else's "I love you."
But as an adult I have stopped to ask myself what those words really mean.
I have asked myself because I am at this point in my self-development where I want to be truly authentic.
And the other day I responded to someone else's "I love you" with my own. And then I thought, ummmm, do I really? Do I really "love" them? What does that really mean?
I am at a point in my life that for each decision I make, I want to reach down deep in side and truly know what I am feeling, what issues and bad beliefs I need to deal with, and what positive action I want to take.
This applies to big decisions. And to the utterance of a few little words.
After a lot of introspection about past relationships and present ones, I realized that I feel these words deep in my soul at a particular moment in time.
At the moment when someone looks deep within in me, sees what is inside my soul, and honors that.
At the moment when someone is allowing me to see what is inside their soul and allowing me to honor that.
It may be when someone sees that I am hurting and holds out a hand to me.
It may be when someone sees that I have been vulnerable with a piece of art and acknowledges my authenticity and courage.
It may be when someone looks at me and kisses me like I am the air they need to breath.
It may be when someone sees that I am overwhelmed and helps me.
It is when someone provides me with this kindness without announcing what they are doing, without looking for my thanks.
It is when they do this because they have looked into my soul, understood what would raise my level of joy, and went about doing it for the pure pleasure of seeing me happy.
To me, "I love you" means "Thank you for looking into my soul and truly seeing me."
And it also means, "Thank you for allowing me to look into your soul."
When you look into the eyes of your newborn baby.
When your partner allows you to see their pain over a disappointment.
When you catch your teenager being childlike and loving.
And it also means, when I say it at the end of a phone conversation or a visit or a day, "Thank you for allowing me to look into your soul."
And it serves as a reminder to stop and be grateful for those moments that happen between us where I was offered a glimpse into the depths of their heart.
It has become a most beautiful practice for me.
My discovery of what "I love you" really means to me has allowed me to treat those three little words with so much more reverence and gratitude.
I encourage you to spend some time with "I love you", too!
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Thursday, November 29, 2018
Sunday, November 25, 2018
A Christmas Countdown for Teens
Teens can be prickly. Even around the holiday season.
So my goal is to get a big dose of fun and family love every day leading up to the holiday season.
And I use our Christmas Countdown.
Here is this year's countdown filled with quick and fun activities teens love!
Some of the them are a little silly but honestly, I think teens are still willing (and actually want) to be kids if it is just for a couple of minutes! I have found that the items on this countdown create just the perfect amount of family fun around the holidays! Not too much for the teens and not too little for you!
Click on the links below for the instructions and printables for each activity that has one.
Some of the activities are self explanatory and some are gift exchanges where I just grab inexpensive things like pens and well, this year, voodoo dolls!
Write out a Christmas list
Find 10 candy canes hidden around the house
Plan out homemade family Christmas gifts and go shopping for supplies
Deliver Christmas cards to friends
Christmas movie marathon
Scavenger hunt for new pajamas
You can certainly change up the list by adding outings or charitable activities, but this is what seems fitting for our family this year! I would love to hear about some of your great activities so I can include them in my list for next year!
Here's hoping you enjoy the holidays together with your teens!
Here's hoping you enjoy the holidays together with your teens!
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Sunday, October 28, 2018
Help Your Young Adult Discover What They Want Out of Life
My mission is to encourage young adults to seek an exceptional life by discovering their authentic self and unique direction.
To help guide as many young adults as I can, I have created an online course,
During the course, I will guide young adults to discover their authentic selves by helping them to identify their deepest passion, their greatest talents, the impact they want to make, their beliefs about success, and the things that make them most happy.
Knowing your authentic self is essential for living an exceptional life and making decisions that positively impact college and career choices.
The course consists of short video lectures and simple yet insightful exercises.
It is available on Udemy for $40 but is being introduced for a limited time at a much discounted rate!
Suggest
"The Strange Pull of What You Really Love"
for the young adult in your life today
and help them to discover what they really want out of life.
"The Strange Pull of What You Really Love"
for the young adult in your life today
and help them to discover what they really want out of life.
You can even purchase it as a gift!
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Monday, October 22, 2018
Why Life Gives Us Disappointments
If you are like me, you have those moments when something happens that you don't like and you start down that path of "why is this happening to me?"
I used to go there a lot. But then I came to an understanding that those moments are here to teach me.
Disappointments are Messages
I now understand that obstacles and disappointments are part of my life as messages from the Universe that I am ready to transform myself.
I work to understand why I am having trouble accepting what is going on. I look at any of the expectations I am holding on to. I dig deep into the fear or sadness or anger that is happening.
And I work to let go of what is limiting me and transform myself into a greater version of myself.
I recently had a relationship that ended. This friend cut me out of their life without so much as a "so long". That was a real disappointment.
But I looked at the situation and realized that I was holding on to a belief that everyone had to like me. And if they didn't, there was something wrong with me. When I looked closely at the relationship, I realized that it had never been built on anything positive and that our time together was really feeding a lot of negativity in me. I knew that my sadness was not a sense of loss based on losing the time we spent together but rather a feeling of not being approved of by this person.
This was a huge transformation for me! I feel that I can let the relationship go in peace and am better prepared for my next relationship.
I am grateful for the message that came in the form of this major disappointment.
The next time you are faced with an obstacle or disappointment, I challenge you to stop focusing on what is happening TO you and instead look at what is happening INSIDE you.
Why Do I Keep Getting the Same Message?
Have you ever noticed that some of your most painful disappointments keep happening? Perhaps it is a string of failed relationships or constant money problems or recurring health issues.
Well, they keep happening because you aren't listening!
You will also see, that over time, the messages will not only keep coming but they will get bigger. So that you have to listen.
Years ago I had a debilitating pain in my foot. Nobody could figure out what was wrong. Nothing helped.
I took at look at a website on emotional issues that cause health problems and found that foot pain is caused by a fear of moving forward.
At the time, I was contemplating homeschooling my kids but was filled with a lot of fear about what other people would think.
I took my foot as a sign that I needed to move forward and I wrote the letter withdrawing my kids from school and posted my plans on Facebook for the world to see.
When I let go of my fear about moving forward with homeschooling, I also let go of the foot pain. Instantly.
When you are getting the same message over and over, take some time to figure out what the message is asking you to transform. Sometimes it is easier to ask a close friend as they may have a perspective that you are lacking.
But trust me, when you have figured it out and have released it, your obstacles will disappear as well.
Why Don't Other People Have So Many Disappointments?
Have you ever looked around and wondered why you are being battered with obstacles and disappointments and the guy next to you is sailing through life?
Well, I think that guy is there as a message to you.
He isn't really real. He might really have a boatload of disappointments.
You are only noticing his good luck and easy life because he is there to help you transform.
There is something about what he has that you feel you are lacking.
You have a block to you abundance and he is waving it in front of your face.
There is a woman in my life who keeps getting something that I want.
To me, it appears that she gets everything she wants without even working for it and nothing ever goes wrong for her.
But I have realized that is only my perception. That is the reality I have created.
And what I need to figure out is what it is that I feel that I am lacking and transform that feeling.
I actually have gotten partway there. And miraculously, she is partway out of my life!
The next time you are comparing your disappointments to someone else's, realize that they are just an illusion placed there as a message to you to work on your own transformation.
From now on, don't fear your disappointments.
Embrace them as the fuel to power your transformation.
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Monday, October 15, 2018
3 Simple Words That Inspire Empathy
About a year ago I learned a life changing phrase.
"I am that."
I took a class with Conversations with God author, Neale Donald Walsch.
I learned a number of really important things but there was one that changed my life.
Neale asked us to wander the neighborhood and to each person we saw, silently say to ourselves, "I am that."
The simple phrase helped me to find the deepest empathy.
As I walked down a crowded NYC street, a man rushed by banging into me.
"I am that." I am a person who has been in a rush."
A woman walking slowly and texting on her phone blocked my path.
"I am that. I am a person who has been in someone's way."
A homeless man grabbed my arm as he asked for money.
"I am that. I am a person who needed help."
The simple phrase changed my mindset, instantly, from one of a little aggravation to one of complete understanding, tolerance and empathy.
I began to use "I am that" with every person I came across.
It was amazing how much more peaceful I felt and how much more tolerant I became.
I have even been able to find empathy for people who I never thought I could understand. Like a person who commits a crime. By noticing that "I am that", I realize that I have also made bad decisions in my life or I have harmed someone else or I have chosen my own selfish needs over humanity. Perhaps my actions are not exactly the same as the criminal, but the degree is not important.
I find using "I am that" to be particularly useful with my teenage daughter.
Her moodiness and occasional rudeness and sometimes laziness used to really make me mad. But now I take a deep breath and note that "I am that." I realize that I too have bad moods that cause me to be difficult to be around. And I too have snapped at others. And I too just want a day off.
"I am that" has significantly improved our relationship.
I encourage you to try this practice as part of your life.
Neale talks about his experience with "I am that" in this video.
His takeaway was a feeling of oneness with everything in the Universe, which was a little different from mine but another wonderful outcome of this exercise!
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Saturday, October 6, 2018
The 9 Best Books for Transforming Yourself
Over the years I have read more than a few good books about self-transformation but there are nine that, for me, are must-reads for anyone who seeks to know themselves better and find a more peaceful life.
This is the very first book I ever read on self-development. I think I read it in college at the suggestion of my aunt.
It is a great place to get started because it is very basic and non-threatening but really sparks something inside you to go farther.
It is a fictional story about the discovery of an ancient manuscript but woven through are concepts that provide insight into becoming a better person, a better part of humanity. It will really change your perception about why you are here and inspire you to explore yourself and your purpose more deeply.
There is a workbook, an experiential guide, that you can use along with the book that really helps you start thinking.
The Happiness Project is a book for absolutely everyone!
I read it really early on in my journey when I was just starting to explore myself and it helped me to make some quick and easy changes.
I read it really early on in my journey when I was just starting to explore myself and it helped me to make some quick and easy changes.
It documents one woman's experiment to develop a happier life and challenges you to do the same by helping you to re-focus your life on what really matters.
While this book is touted to be about rediscovering your creativity, it is really a book about discovering yourself.
The book guides you on a 12 week journey of discovery and arms you with two of the most powerful tools I have ever encountered for becoming more in tune with myself, Morning Pages and the Artists Date. Not only is this book a powerful tool, it is lots of fun!
There are many different versions of this work for different ages and groups of people and workbook to go along with it, but I have found that this little gem is really all you need.
![The Beginner's Guide to Walking the Buddha's Eightfold Path by [Smith, Jean]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41EK342V7YL.jpg)
This is such a well-written overview of the Buddha's teachings about the Eightfold Path.
The eight steps on the path are: right understanding, thought, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration and they are essential to Buddhist's and non-Buddhist's alike who want to live a more peaceful and meaningful life.
While the book is certainly about Buddhism, people of all faiths and spiritualities can benefit from the lessons of the Eightfold Path and this book presents them in a really accessible way.
I Remember Union by Flo Magdalena
This is a life-changing book wrapped inside a beautiful and engaging story.
It is the story of a young man going in search of treasure and finding it within himself.
It is this story that provided me with the mantra, "Every moment is perfect." Because it is. It is exactly as it should be for your growth into your greatest self. Hard lessons and all.
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani
At first I was not really interested in reading a story about Mary Magdalene. And while I did actually enjoy the story, this book is so much more than that!
While this work is a story of Mary Magdalene's life, it is from the perspective that both she and Jesus remember why they are here on this earth on this journey. They remember the impact they agreed to make when they were born into this life and we see how they use this knowledge to accept the events that happen to them with peace and compassion.
It is an amazing opportunity to question how differently we could handle the events that happen in our lives if we remembered why we were on this earth. If we could see the big picture.
Very thought provoking!
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Along the way the young man learns to listen to his inner voice and follow it's guidance. He learns that that voice can guide him to triumph and through turmoil.
The eight steps on the path are: right understanding, thought, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration and they are essential to Buddhist's and non-Buddhist's alike who want to live a more peaceful and meaningful life.
While the book is certainly about Buddhism, people of all faiths and spiritualities can benefit from the lessons of the Eightfold Path and this book presents them in a really accessible way.
I Remember Union by Flo Magdalena
This is a life-changing book wrapped inside a beautiful and engaging story.
It is the story of a young man going in search of treasure and finding it within himself.
It is this story that provided me with the mantra, "Every moment is perfect." Because it is. It is exactly as it should be for your growth into your greatest self. Hard lessons and all.
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani
At first I was not really interested in reading a story about Mary Magdalene. And while I did actually enjoy the story, this book is so much more than that!
While this work is a story of Mary Magdalene's life, it is from the perspective that both she and Jesus remember why they are here on this earth on this journey. They remember the impact they agreed to make when they were born into this life and we see how they use this knowledge to accept the events that happen to them with peace and compassion.
It is an amazing opportunity to question how differently we could handle the events that happen in our lives if we remembered why we were on this earth. If we could see the big picture.
Very thought provoking!
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Along the way the young man learns to listen to his inner voice and follow it's guidance. He learns that that voice can guide him to triumph and through turmoil.
This is the book that allowed my to purge an unbelievable amount of crap from my life.
The book has a lot of great content but the concept of Brules is a game-changer.
Vishen calls bad beliefs “Bullshit Rules”, or Brules. He says that an “extraordinary mind questions the Brules that are out of alignment with their dreams and desires”. These minds “recognize that much of the way the world works is due to people blindly following Brules that have long passed their expiration date.” He does not suggest getting rid of moral and ethical standards but that we should take a good look at beliefs that drag us into “long-held habits and irrational self-judgement” such as “I should call my parents every day or I am not being a good child” or “I should work to the point of exhaustion every week or I’m not working hard enough.”
Vishen suggests asking a few thought provoking questions to test if a belief you hold is a rule you want to live by or a Brule you want to do away with.
1. Is your belief based on trust and hope in humanity? Beliefs that assume that humanity is inherently bad may be Brules.
2. Does your belief violate the Golden Rule? Beliefs that don’t support “do unto others” may be Brules.
3. Did you take on your belief from culture or religion? If you are bothered by arbitrary rules about dress, food, or marriage that come from your culture or religion, they may be Brules.
4. Is it based on rational choice or contagion? If you have been following a belief since childhood without question, it may be a Brule.
5. Does it serve my happiness? If a belief does not make you happy, it may be a Brule.
2. Does your belief violate the Golden Rule? Beliefs that don’t support “do unto others” may be Brules.
3. Did you take on your belief from culture or religion? If you are bothered by arbitrary rules about dress, food, or marriage that come from your culture or religion, they may be Brules.
4. Is it based on rational choice or contagion? If you have been following a belief since childhood without question, it may be a Brule.
5. Does it serve my happiness? If a belief does not make you happy, it may be a Brule.
Based in the philosophy of stoicism, this book teaches you how to face challenges by letting go of what you can't control and moving forward. It teaches you that moving forward through each challenge only serves to make you stronger and better.
"What stands in the way becomes the way."
This is a book that really helps you to turn your problems into possibilities. Both big and small.
Best book ever for a control addict! It taught me the art of letting go.
Michael Singer decided to undertake an experiment while he was in his twenties in pursuit of enlightenment. He decided to see what would happen if he stopped giving in to his personal fears and desires. He decided to surrender to whatever life had in store. His journey led him to living alone in the woods to becoming a computer programmer and finally a corporate CEO. By saying “yes” to the opportunities that were placed in front of him by the Universe, and that he had many doubts about, he created a thriving spiritual community, a transformative software package, a company whose achievements are archived in the Smithsonian, and a book that became a bestseller.
I loved the idea of this experiment so much that I have incorporated it into my own life!
I hope you have enjoyed my list of self-transformation "must reads" and pick up one (or a few!) today!
And I would love to add some new "must read's" to my list. To make it 10!
So please share YOUR must-reads for transformation in the comments!
And I would love to add some new "must read's" to my list. To make it 10!
So please share YOUR must-reads for transformation in the comments!
Monday, October 1, 2018
Ego vs Soul
I am always trying to act from a soulful place. A place of peace and joy.
And to resist the trappings of my ego which always feels lacking and can never be satisfied.
But sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. So I made myself a list of questions that I ask myself to understand if I am following the direction of my soul or if I am being pulled down by my ego.
Am I focused on the best result or on enjoying the journey?
Your soul is not concerned with how things turn out. It just wants to have experiences. Some bring joy. Some bring lessons. They are all good to the soul.
The ego is focused on what the outcome is going to be. And the result had better be the best.
I use this one a lot when I am about to tackle an art project. I ask if I am doing it because I am going to enjoy the process of creation or because I want to have something completed that I can show off.
If I am all about the result, I try to adjust my focus to the journey or pass on the project because I know that in the end I am going to be disappointed because the ego can never be satisfied.
This was a huge challenge back to me in my "Martha Stewart" days. When I would get that magazine in the mail and see all of the amazing projects. Like a set of Christmas village houses made from pine needles and pinecones and twigs and bark. I embarked on this project with the single, ego focus of making them look exactly like they did in the pictures. Of course they did not. And I missed out on what could have been a really joyful experience of getting out and enjoying nature while collecting all of the materials, the mindfulness required to separate all of the pieces of the pinecones, and allowing my own creativity to inspire how I decorated the houses.
Now that I remind myself that it is the journey, not the result, I really enjoy little art lessons and craft projects and recipes so much more. I am not rushing to see the result. I am enjoying every moment.
If I am all about the result, I try to adjust my focus to the journey or pass on the project because I know that in the end I am going to be disappointed because the ego can never be satisfied.
This was a huge challenge back to me in my "Martha Stewart" days. When I would get that magazine in the mail and see all of the amazing projects. Like a set of Christmas village houses made from pine needles and pinecones and twigs and bark. I embarked on this project with the single, ego focus of making them look exactly like they did in the pictures. Of course they did not. And I missed out on what could have been a really joyful experience of getting out and enjoying nature while collecting all of the materials, the mindfulness required to separate all of the pieces of the pinecones, and allowing my own creativity to inspire how I decorated the houses.
Now that I remind myself that it is the journey, not the result, I really enjoy little art lessons and craft projects and recipes so much more. I am not rushing to see the result. I am enjoying every moment.
Am I comparing myself to others or am I appreciating myself?
Am I trying to lessen the joy of others by being critical or am I celebrating everyone's success and being kind?
Am I trying to lessen the joy of others by being critical or am I celebrating everyone's success and being kind?
Your soul does not compare. It is perfect. And appreciates that everyone else is too.
The ego, however, is focused on how it compares to others. And you had better be the best.
This question comes out a lot for me with my kids dance and theater. In situations where there can only be one kid chosen, I often find myself comparing them to others, to see if they are the best, to influence the situation where they are.
But now I stop myself because I realize this comparison is my ego at work. Trying to see where they (and therefore I) stack up.
If I find myself comparing, I change my focus and I celebrate the wonderful things about my kids instead.
As I am writing this, I am waiting for the email to let us know if my daughter got a part in a musical that she really, really wants. (I really, really want it for her!) And instead of focusing on what I observed at the callbacks last night in the other kids, I am trying to focus on her. Her acting was amazing. I really felt the character and the scene. I am trying not to focus on the fact that I thought it was the best. Her dancing was great. She did some moves I didn't even know she knew! And there was one that she totally botched because it was pretty new to her. But I am trying not to think about how that compare to the girl who did that move really well. Her vocals were great. She has worked so hard this year on improving her singing! And I am trying not to compare her to the 3 girls who are more well trained singers.
Instead I am focusing on how proud I am of her that she really shines on the stage and how hard she worked to prepare for the role. and also appreciating what is wonderful in all of the other girls too. Without comparison.
But now I stop myself because I realize this comparison is my ego at work. Trying to see where they (and therefore I) stack up.
If I find myself comparing, I change my focus and I celebrate the wonderful things about my kids instead.
As I am writing this, I am waiting for the email to let us know if my daughter got a part in a musical that she really, really wants. (I really, really want it for her!) And instead of focusing on what I observed at the callbacks last night in the other kids, I am trying to focus on her. Her acting was amazing. I really felt the character and the scene. I am trying not to focus on the fact that I thought it was the best. Her dancing was great. She did some moves I didn't even know she knew! And there was one that she totally botched because it was pretty new to her. But I am trying not to think about how that compare to the girl who did that move really well. Her vocals were great. She has worked so hard this year on improving her singing! And I am trying not to compare her to the 3 girls who are more well trained singers.
Instead I am focusing on how proud I am of her that she really shines on the stage and how hard she worked to prepare for the role. and also appreciating what is wonderful in all of the other girls too. Without comparison.
Am I hiding my mistakes or am I enjoying being a student?
Your soul loves to learn and grow. It never feels stupid for not knowing the answer.
Your ego hates to look like it doesn't know something or is a failure.
I talk to myself about this one when I a screw up. My gut reaction is to hide from it. To cover it up. But I have stopped hiding. I remind myself that we are all students in this world. That we are all trying new things all the time and we are doing the best we can and sometimes since we are learning, it does not work out the way we, or others, wanted. I try to treat myself the way I would one of my children when they make a mistake.
I am reminded of an incident that happened a few months ago. I organize a local musical theater program. I took the program over a year ago and I was aware that the previous year there was a problem with too many people coming to the show at the end of the program. There were not enough seats and people couldn't see their kids. There was discussion around everyone paying a bit of money to get a larger venue for the next show. After I took over, things went really well until I sent out a link for parents to buy $5 tickets. The tickets would cover the cost of the new venue. If we had stuck with the old venue, each child would only get 3 tickets and the new way, we could accommodate siblings and grandparents and friends. Everyone was very happy and bought loads of tickets. Except for 2 parents. Who were very upset that they had to pay for tickets. I should have told them before they registered, they said.
The old me would have run and hid. Because I had failed them. Because I had made a mistake in not thinking to alert them that there was going to be a charge before I sent out the link to purchase tickets. Because I felt like a failure. But that was my ego talking.
Now that I am listening to my soul, I accepted that I am a student and I am not expected to have thought through every possibility. That it was okay to make a mistake or oversight. So, I apologized to the two parents for not thinking to warn them that there would be a slight charge. And it was right with my soul.
Your soul loves to learn and grow. It never feels stupid for not knowing the answer.
Your ego hates to look like it doesn't know something or is a failure.
I talk to myself about this one when I a screw up. My gut reaction is to hide from it. To cover it up. But I have stopped hiding. I remind myself that we are all students in this world. That we are all trying new things all the time and we are doing the best we can and sometimes since we are learning, it does not work out the way we, or others, wanted. I try to treat myself the way I would one of my children when they make a mistake.
I am reminded of an incident that happened a few months ago. I organize a local musical theater program. I took the program over a year ago and I was aware that the previous year there was a problem with too many people coming to the show at the end of the program. There were not enough seats and people couldn't see their kids. There was discussion around everyone paying a bit of money to get a larger venue for the next show. After I took over, things went really well until I sent out a link for parents to buy $5 tickets. The tickets would cover the cost of the new venue. If we had stuck with the old venue, each child would only get 3 tickets and the new way, we could accommodate siblings and grandparents and friends. Everyone was very happy and bought loads of tickets. Except for 2 parents. Who were very upset that they had to pay for tickets. I should have told them before they registered, they said.
The old me would have run and hid. Because I had failed them. Because I had made a mistake in not thinking to alert them that there was going to be a charge before I sent out the link to purchase tickets. Because I felt like a failure. But that was my ego talking.
Now that I am listening to my soul, I accepted that I am a student and I am not expected to have thought through every possibility. That it was okay to make a mistake or oversight. So, I apologized to the two parents for not thinking to warn them that there would be a slight charge. And it was right with my soul.
Your ego is all about how you appear to others. Your soul is just you.
Take some time to start listening to your soul.
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