I read some of her posts and tips and decided myself to stop yelling. I actually have to say that I have had an incredibly easy time of it. I don;t really think about it too much and I have slipped up a few times but almost deciding in my head to stop yelling was enough for me.
But as I stopped yelling I was able to listen more clearly when my husband or my kids are yelling and even to myself when I slipped up. And what I realized is that nobody is ever yelling at someone else, they are yelling at themselves.
They are yelling because their expectations are not meeting reality.
My husband yelled at the kids when they were dawdling to get out of the house. Was he really angry at the kids? Were they really doing anything so wrong or were they just being kids who get lost in their imaginations? I think his expectation was that they would just hop to and be done in 12.5 seconds. And that just wasn't the reality. And I think he was really yelling at himself because he hasn't taught his kids to turn on a dime when he tells them to do something.
I yelled at the kids because they were arguing over whose feet were getting more of the couch. Was I really angry at them? No. I was angry at myself because I expected I had taught them better how to resolve silly problems but in reality I had not. I was yelling at myself for being a bad mom and not teaching them how to handle themselves in that situation.
When my kids yell at each other I think they are actually beating themselves up that they expected the other one to love them more than they are showing at the moment and how could they be so stupid.
I have also in the past yelled at my kids because I was really yelling at my husband which now I know was really yelling at myself.
Interesting, huh?
YOUR TURN
Check out Orange Rhino and make a pledge to stop yelling for a year.
But inside of just trying to distract yourself from yelling, the next time you do it, think about what is really making you angry.
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