Don't Blame the Delivery Guy ... He Didn't Send You Your Suffering

Photo by Maarten van den Huevel

The glorious teacher, Srikumar Rao, once told me a story about a delivery guy.

He told us that when things happen in relationships with people they are not actually the product of that person but are a gift or lesson from the Universe.  And to think about it like the Universe being the place where you shopped online and and the people in your life as the delivery people.

Think of it this way ....

When the you open a package and you like what is inside, you just go about your business.  Maybe you get a little excited.  If you really loved what's in there maybe you tell people about it or write a review.  But the delivery guy really does not factor into the equation.  Maybe you say thank you.  But that's it.  This is how it is when something nice you like happens to you.  You express different levels of excitement, maybe you tell people about your good fortune, maybe you thank the person involved, maybe you express gratitude to the Universe.

See the illustration?  

But what happens when something you perceive as not nice happens to you?

Well, most people look to blame the person who "caused" their suffering.  The boss who did not give you the promotion, the reckless driver who wrecked your car, the teacher who gave little Sally a C-.  We focus all of our negative emotions and stories on that person.

But wait.  They are just the delivery guy.

And what do you do when you open up a package and you hate what is inside?

Do you start yelling at the poor UPS guy who brought it to the door?!  

Of course not!

You thank him just the same and then take up your issues with the company who sent the despised item.

So remember,  the next time you take delivery of a not so fabulous situation .... don't take it out on the delivery guy!


Note:
After I heard this story, I thought about the flip side.  When I am the delivery guy.  When I am the one delivering the suffering.  
Do I view myself as just a pawn in the Universe's game?  
After much contemplation I decided that being the deliverer of suffering is not a job I really want to have.  And that as I work out my own crap I will play this role less and less.  Until I am just the bearer of the most wonderful packages.
So when I end up being the delivery guy of suffering, I can give myself a little break by realizing that this is a lesson from the Universe.  But not just for the person getting the package but for me as well.