Love is a Pact

Today I had an epiphany about love.

I recently had a little problem with my best friend.  

You see, I shared something very important and private.

And they...

SAID NOTHING!

They moved on in the conversation as if I had mentioned that it was going to rain tomorrow!

And I was a little hurt.  And a lot angry.

But I've been studying all sorts of self-development principles for years and I know that I am responsible for my own suffering.  I am the one who attached meaning to her silence.  I am the one that needs to let it go.  I am the one that should be sharing because I want to share, not because I have an expectation of receiving a positive reaction.  Blah, blah, blah.

I knew the only person who needed "fixing" was me.

But I was still hurt.  And maybe a little more angry.

So I mentioned it.

I mentioned that I was hurt.  And that I knew the suffering was all my own doing.  That I didn't want her to change.  But I just had to tell her.

She apologized for being insensitive.

And we moved on.

Well, actually I was still a little hurt. And a tiny bit angry.  Mostly at myself though.

But I wondered why I had to say something.

If I knew that I was the only one I could "fix".

And I realized it is because we love each other.

And with love comes a pact.

A pact to be invested in each other's growth.

A pact to challenge each other to be better.

And when you make that pact, it is called love.

Love has a responsibility to be a safe place to practice your growth.

A safe place to say "I am feeling hurt by what you did."

A safe place to provide the suggestion that the other person might want to take a look at themselves.

This responsibility does not exist in everyday relationships.

Because it is a pact.  Something you both agree to.

In everyday relationships it is not implicit that the other person wants you to nurture their growth.

Which is why you can let things go without mentioning it.

But in a relationship where you made a pact to grow together, you are obligated to share.

After this realization I no longer felt hurt.  I no longer felt angry.

I felt love.