How 9/11 Changed My Life

As many of you know, I am writing a book encouraging young adults to lead an exceptional life by discovering their authentic self and setting their own unique direction.

I am writing this book because for many years I lived a life that was not my own.

9/11 made me realize that the only life I could live was one that was aligned with my true self.

Here is an excerpt from my upcoming book, "The Strange Pull of What You Really Love".

That Big Mistake? I Made It.

For years I had no idea who I really was.  I made choices about college and career based on what other people told me was good for me.  What other people told me I could have and couldn’t have. What made other people happy. And I was mediocre at all I did , both in what I provided to others and my own joy in life.  I was living a mediocre life that was not my own.

When I was where you are now, I had no idea who I was or the direction I wanted to follow. It had been lost, erased when I was little. I followed my parents and teachers desire that I study engineering because I was so good at math (and a girl, to boot!) and got a job as a computer programmer.

These were not my dreams, they belonged to someone else. I got no joy from what I studied in college. I barely graduated with a dismal GPA because for 4 years I sat in lecture halls listening to people talk about things that I could have cared less about. I could not make heads or tails of what I was meant to be learning because I wasn’t at all interested. I got even less joy from my job writing programs for an investment bank. I had zero interest in financial services and even less in COBOL (that is a really old programming language that I really hope nobody uses anymore!).

Now, don’t get me wrong, I had a “good” life. A decent salary. Friends. Great shoes. A nice apartment. Parties every weekend. A vacation every year. But in reality, all that did not make up for living a bland existence for 90% of my waking hours.

And in my 30s I got a wake up call and I realized I wanted more. The tragedy of 9/11 happened. There was so much loss here in NY. Employees of my company, kids from my town, a boy I had a crush on. I returned to work in a daze a few days later. Heartbroken like everyone else. But on that day I got word that an old friend had died on the top floors of the North Tower. I cried my eyes out as I remembered his beautiful soul. He lived upstairs from me. Every night I could hear the whine of his Ducati motorcycle as he pulled in front of the building and I grabbed two glasses of wine and met him on the roof. He met me up there and pulled out his favorite cigar. Peter loved life. He was passionate about his job in banking. He could go on for an hour in excited tones about something that happened that day. He was always home by 7 because life was not all work. He rode his motorcycle the 100 or so blocks to to work in custom suits that he loved. He loved reading the classics and cooking fabulous meals and Sunday brunch. He lived a life that made him excited to get out of bed each day.

As I was remembering Peter, the managing partner of our company ran past my office calmly explaining that there had been a bomb threat. There were many after 9/11 in NYC. I left my office with my heart in my throat and Peter in my mind and as I moved with the masses down what seemed like an endless 9 flights of emergency stairs, I realized that each day is precious. I can still hear the click, click, click of my heels on the stairs and I can still remember thinking that if this was my last day on earth, I had not lived it the way I wanted. But Peter had. Even though his life was ended way too early, I know that each day for him was exceptional. And I was spending each precious day bored and not contributing to the world in the best way I could.

I quit a short time later and started my journey of discovering myself.

I began searching for something more. I dug deep inside and found my authentic self… what I loved, what made me happy, how I wanted to impact the world, what I was good at, and what made me feel accomplished. I discovered how I could put these parts of myself together to create a unique direction for my life. I studied Buddhism, the human mind, energy medicine, and self- development until I understood how to create an exceptional life that supported my unique direction.

I am so grateful that I discovered that we each CAN have the exceptional life I described.  We don’t have to choose to be mediocre.

Some other people aren’t that lucky!